shag the haggis

Scottish slang for playing the bagpipes.

Possible Local Usage: "So there I wiz, chompin doon on ma deep fried mars bar an chips when some tube started shaggin the haggis and pit me right oaf."

Translation: "I was in the process of eating ones supper when a stranger began playing the bagpipes which made me lose my appetite."

Local Usage: "Ho, haggis shagger, gonna play Stairway man? Ho ho..."

Translation: "I say, bagpiper, would you care to attempt to play a tune not written for your instrument and subsequently have a heart attack for the amusement of me and my chums?"

Local Usage: "Jim, shag the haggis for us."

Translation: "James my good man, play the pipes would you."

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Haggis stroking

Haggis stroking is a sexual term for a man and a woman to be having sex in the doggy style when the man then inserts his hand into the womans anus and wraps his hand around his dick which is inside the womans vagina. He then masturbates while still engaging in intercourse with the woman until he/they come.

Man, I was haggis stroking last night. My girlfriend couldn't believe it!

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Wild Haggis

A mythical creature, running round the Scottish countryside!

'Ah! The wild Haggis just bit me!'

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Haggy Blvd

Noun: A specific location where Haggy's might be at play.

"Haggy" - is gay and so is his entire family - all up on Haggy Blvd

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detonate the haggis

To fart. Not coincidentally, haggis is a traditional Scottish dish of sheep's stomach which is stuffed and boiled for three hours.

"Dude, did you just 'detonate the haggis' in my car?!? Get out and walk! NOW!"

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Haggy Parasite

A person with a small penis, who is fat and who gets very sweaty whilst playing Call of Duty for a living. He is known for having huge mouth for fitting in several cocks. He thinks he attracts E-Girls with his selfies on Twitter but in fact he attracts sadomasochists.

Haggy Parasite: ''I don't shut up because It makes me look smart''

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Haggis Factor

A hidden cost factor used by any scottish person who owns a business.

Mr. MacKay buys product at a certain price and marks it up using a haggis factor to overinflate the cost.