I have no enemies

I have no enemies

Robber: I just robbed all of your lifesavings and killed your entire bloodline
*I have no enemies song randomly appears*
Me an intelectual: it's ok I forgive you, I have no enemies

I have Covid

An excuse you give when you do not want to do something or attend an event, but don't have a actual reason to cancel.

"Just a reminder that the Baby Shower is at 3pm today at my house"
"Sorry I won't be able to make it, I have Covid"

i have to poo

just means that you need to poo

Jane: I have to poo!
Jack: ok

i have never

A drinking game where someone stats "i have never.." and everyone playing who has, takes a shot or a drink. Use you knowledge of your mates against them!

Tom- "i have never had sex on a pool table"
Jenny - oh dam "takes shot"

etc

18👍 7👎

I have a boyfriend

Good for you

Jenny: I have a boyfriend
Max: Noone cares

15👍 3👎

I have needs

A colloquial phrase signifying an overlooked state of demand, exigency, or indispensability addressing to one's response to oppression, selfless dedication, or inadequacy of a type of necessity.
See Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

"I work 10 hours a day, 7 days a week with minimum wage so i could feed my children and send them to school. I have needs too."

Girlfriend: "How come we never do it?"
Boyfriend: "Cause, you know about my disorder. You know.. down there."
Girlfriend: "I have needs, you know. Do you want me to go fuck some other nigga?"

35👍 19👎

I have to go

what you say when you are hanging out/talking with someone and they're pissing you off so much that you need to leave or you will slit their throat

"So i was all like hashtagNOPE and then he was all like..."
"Sorry, Tracy, I have to go."

30👍 15👎