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1) Something that can be both heaven and hell.
2) The end of hourly or daily sex.
3) Most extreme form of torture to a guy who constantly gets laid.
4) The end of life and fun.
1) Husband, "Honey, can we have sex". Wife, "Should have thought of that before we got married, No".
2) I gave up my days of having a new woman every day for the never ending hell of having the same one forever.
3) Kids, just say no to marriage.
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When you finally find someone to beat your wood for you.
Because of marriage I don't have to masturbate anymore.
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Outdated practice of permanently locking together two people, based on the outdated concept of religion
"A Marriage is a lot like a coffin.. And each kid is an extra nail"
-Homer Simpson
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intended to depict the relationship between Christ and the church. A love shown through caring about and serving each other even when one party (or both) does not deserve it.
Marriage should be as it is written:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5: 25-33
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Its after you live with a woman for 8 years, And you have had sex in every room, Every position, In every park and department store change room. You give her a ring and say I DO. What that really means is I DONT have sex anymore. All your freedoms is gone, and she controls everything you do.
I masturbate more now, then before my marriage.
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Marriage: a legal union between a man and a woman.
Garriage: a legal union between two men.
Larriage: a legal union between two women.
Barriage: a legal union between two bisexuals.
Tarriage: a legal union between two transgenders.
Sparriage: a legal union between a human and another species.
Shamarriage: a legal union of convenience.
Sharriage: a legal union specifically between a man and a sheep.
Swarriage: a legal union specifically between a woman and a swan.
Turduckenarriage: a legal union between a turkey, duck and chicken. (Over-rated.)
Haliarrage: a legal union between a human and E.T. or other alien.
Polyarriage: a legal union between three or more.
What's so magical about the word marriage?
Straight fellow: If I get married I don't want people asking, "what's his name".
Gay fellow: If I get married, I don't want someone to ask, "what's *her* name."
You get the idea. Regardless, most mglbtspshamshswturkendenalipolyharriages will end in one word for which no hair-splitting is required: divorce.
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What men often find themselves pressured into doing in order to reproduce. It will become obsolete the day that men are able to have sons by cloning themselves.
Frank Sinatra Junior never quite had his dad's talent. Too bad old blue eyes couldn't've clones himself to avoid Marriage. On the other hand, without Marriage we'd never have gotten Nancy Sinatra, babe extraordinaire.
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