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New Jersey

A nasty brown stain between New York and Pennsylvania, with twice the corruption and none of the charm of either. The butt of every joke about the East Coast. The state that makes the rest of the northeast feel good about itself. A state whose residents have giant egos for no discernible reason and consider the urban wasteland seen from the Turnpike or Parkway as "scenery". Kinda like Connecticut if someone had urinated all over it and converted half of it into a toxic waste dump. A place where green air and glowing rivers are as common as big press-on fingernails and fake Luis Vuitton purses. The average IQ is "functionally retarded" but don't tell them that, because the mongoloid greaseball douchebags who inhabit "Joisey" will start a fight over anything. I'd be that miserable too if I had to live there. A fetid sewer of a state.

I just died and descended to the ninth circle of hell, where I am chained to a wall of fire and flogged with spike-covered whips for eternity. But hey, at least I'm not in New Jersey.

by Diggit18 July 30, 2009

53๐Ÿ‘ 41๐Ÿ‘Ž


New Jersey

Ahhh .. New Jersey .. you just gotta love it. I grew up in South Jersey .. where the typical Friday & Saturday night parties started in a peach orchard and ended in a diner. If there was nothing left to do .. we'd drive down the shore knowing that there was definitely something to occupy us there. Then drive back in the middle of the night dodging the deer on 55 or Delsea Drive. Us South Jersians never drove on the expressway or parkway .. it was either 55 or Delsea. If you're from South Jersey, you know what Heritages is .. and you know what 1/2 price hoagie day was. You know that 15 years ago it was safe to be in Camden during the day .. but NOT at night .. now you know that it's not safe to be in Camden period. You most likely sat in a classroom before summer vacation .. with the windows open and the warm fresh smell of horse maneur lurking in the room. You know about the NJ devil and you often thought about him while peeing in the woods at night .. c'mon .. you know you did! You know that Cheese Whiz on a cheesesteak is totally UNACCEPTABLE .. it's either american cheese or provolone. We say Woo-der .. not Waa-der. We also say Raa-diatior .. not Ray-diator. We also say Crick .. not Creek (Mantua Crick). Yo is a great attention getter ... and yous guys is our trademark. You can take me outta NJ .. but you can't take the NJ outta me!

Outta Staters in a Circle: "oh my god, how do you drive around one of these? I guess I'll just slam on my brakes and wait here until all these cars are done flying by me"

Jersian in the Cirlce behind the Outta Staters: "You fuckin incompetant shit! Just fuckin go! You don't stop in a circle you fuckhead!"

by hoagie_girl July 12, 2005

89๐Ÿ‘ 74๐Ÿ‘Ž


New Jersey

New Jersey? What much is there to say rather than the fact that I reside in said state, and hate everything about it. The state is typically filled with assholes who think that they are better than you and because of that fact, are incredibly rude to you. The majority of the youth of the state typically believe that sports alone can get you into college.

THAT is the negative of the state.

THIS is the positive.

The shore/beach. Everywhere except Atlantic City. The schools are good, and so are a minority of the youth who are able to see the negative of the state; they abuse the good of the state and revel in it.

Please note that the MTV program, "Jersey Shore" is not similar to New Jersey at all, for the cast are absolute morons who have no idea what New Jersey is.

Your mother, "Hey! You live in New Jersey!"

Me, "Not proud of that fact."

by xXa7Xx February 23, 2012

13๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž


New Jersey

The biggest piece of shit in the UNION. Smells like Bigfoot's dick mixed with Snookie's pussy juice. The arm pits of New York City and Philly. Full of orange blowout faggets that like to fist pump. Does not have the concept of the real world and thinks every one is out the get them. Women are cocky fat sluts who think they are hot and frequent abortion clinics. A place to go if you want to get a blow out from all the pot holes in the streets, and have your car stolen while you go for help. Your only real ambition as a person from New Jersey is to move to New York. A great place to get cheap drugs on any city street corner.

New Jersey, cause hell was full.

by FNJ August 12, 2011

32๐Ÿ‘ 22๐Ÿ‘Ž


New Jersey

By far the worst of all states in the country...And I've lived in 8 states. I'm only here b/c I have to be(military).

#1 highest taxes in the country.
Ugliest beaches of the east coast.
Jug handles...google it if you don't know what these are.
Roads are all untaken care of and riddled with potholes.
Everything is way more expensive than it would be anywhere else.
Jersey has the most reported cases of Lyme Disease.
Scenery=nothing but ugly pine barrons.
Highest auto insurance in the country.
Overpopulation.
Corruption.
High crime.
Can't afford to live somewhere away from the crime unless you make >$500,000 a year.

A $15 toll?

Thats New Jersey for you.

by AfricanSnowOwl January 24, 2011

25๐Ÿ‘ 17๐Ÿ‘Ž


New Jersey

The dumbest, most retarded state in the U.S. An absolute disgrace to the entire nation, a filthy dump, and full of nothing but skanks and retards who can't talk correctly.

Luckily, they will never be able to understand what any of this says because none of them can read.

North Korea: "If you don't stop, we'll nuke New Jersey!*
The entire U.S. population minus New Jersey: "Please do, you'll be doing us all a favor."

by Homemade_herpatitis January 9, 2018

10๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


New Jersey

Land of conspicuous consumption, Italians, dark hair, guidos, aggressive drivers, malls, diners, high property taxes, heavily-accented syllables, jughandles and the infamous Jersey shore. I think that sums it up.

If you want to make sure that your mortgage payment is among the highest in the country, live in New Jersey.

The friendliest people are not found in New Jersey.

by aquarius32 January 2, 2010

20๐Ÿ‘ 13๐Ÿ‘Ž