Shit the bed Matilda

a surprise of disbelief . Or fuckery

Well shit the bed Matilda did you see that guy stealing that tv!

shitting in bed awake

Any situation that you have to overcome that is so easy and takes no effort at all.

Person 1: Man this motor is going to be a bitch to take out.
Person 2: Nah man its easier than shitting in bed awake.

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Shit My Bed

an exclamation of surprise or dismay following the delivery of important or significant news, as one would be surprised after shitting the bed

Guy #1: "Hey dude, we're going out to the club after the game."
Guy #2: "Well, shit my bed, that's gonna be a hell of a good time."

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Shit the bed, Margaret!

An exclamation of surprise, shock, or amazement.

The response "At least it wasn't your pants, Bob," may be used.

"Little Jimmy passed his test? Well shit the bed, Margaret! This calls for a celebration!"

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did you shit the bed?

what you say to someone who turns up to work ridiculously early, as everyone knows this sort of eager beaver behaviour would only be acceptable if you had actually shat the bed, were forced to get out of it, and had nothing better to do than come to work.

colleague not due to start work till 9 showing up at 8.15: good morning!
me: did you shit the bed?!

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have you shit the bed

A term used to mock someone when they are up early in the morning (meaning they aren't usually up early)

It's only 5am,have you shit the bed?

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Jesus Shit the Bed Christ

A term used to address an event of either unbelievable, hilarious or ridiculous measure. These 5 words should only be used to address the occurence when it is of huge magnitude.

(Note - heavily accenting the 'Ch' in Christ always adds great emphasis upon deliverance of the phrase.)

First began to circulate in Essex, after a truly remarkable display of football acrobatics during a friendly game of 6-a-side, the phrase has now picked up a few more scenarios to be used in.

1) 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ! Did you just see that fucking goal?!'

2? 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ, that truly was the fucking funniest thing I've ever seen.'

3) 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ, did you just see that bitch spit a Melon out of her arse?!'

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