Lettuce Be Cereal

A misguided statement for 'lets be serious', usually said for laughs.

Lettuce be cereal, I know you be 'mirin my aesthetics.

crunchy lettuce

A reference to the best part of something. The part of a whole that stands out from the rest.

The crunchy lettuce really made that hamburger delicious.
That song was the crunchy lettuce of that album.
This formula is the crunchy lettuce of physics.

hippie lettuce

slang for pot, chronic, ganja, weed, the product, etc.

When we drove past the Phish concert, we caught a glimpse of about 12000 people in the parking lot burning the hippie lettuce.

lucifer's lettuce

a comical term for marijuana

bible thumpin dad: (smells weed from outside of sons locked door then knocks)
"johnny are you smoking that marijuana again?!"

johnny: "yes ho now fuck off."

bible thumpin dad: "sweet jesus THATS LUCIFER'S LETTUCE!!!"

johnny: "meh."
(coughs)

Wet lettuce

someone who is a wuss. cries a lot, really sensitive and just a pussy in general. Real emotional and never takes risks. Always quiet.

person1: omg Sarah was crying in the bathroom again
person2:god she's such a fucking wet lettuce

forest lettuce

hip slang term for pot/weed

trent: ey yo, you got that good forest lettuce?
renesmee: yeah dude, you want some?

Crinkly Lettuce

An old lady's outer labia. An old woman's cunt.

Dave: She's a bit old for you isn't she.
Jim: That's alright, I like a bit of Crinkly Lettuce.