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The typical definition of a chav is almost very certain to fix ideas in many heads.
For one, these can be recognised by their so called 'Bling' , the lowest of all jewellery that is available from many markets, Argos, Woolworths and others.
Their clothes. Picture a school kid, approx. 14 - 17, dressed in a wide range of 'top' brands of clothing. Burberry, not to mention the price, FAKES. Fred Perry, their designer sign in whole striped tops and their ancient £5 tracksuit pants or 'Trackies' with the noticable 'boulder burn' from the amount of Cannabis they smoke. And their trainers, tough old Rockports. Whenever did the name of Rockport, the expensive good brand which now is recognised as 'Chavvy'
Normally. They purchase old, wrecked cars from Metros to Escorts and take them to Kwik-Fit and use their benefits usually paying the bills on large alloys wheels. Their car, boasting a massive stereo normally a CD-Player with a wasteful, tasteless amplifier glued to the boot lid.
Their fashion for underage unprotected sex when under the influence of alcohol is not the only put down. They ruin the beer brands. And smoke, booze and end up dieing early.
Potencially found on alleyways infested with the smell or urine and excrement, drug tools suchas 'Buckets, bongs' and 'Joint stubs' , not to forget, the broken up WKD bottles and empty 'dogged' Vodka quarter bottles.
These are the most stupid, denied mixture of society you just feel like sending to an island with the occasional reptile and make them suffer.
Keep away you fools..
Dirty, dingy, boozing, drug-abusing and unprotected sex at 13...
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The chav, more commonly known as 'Arsing scumbags'. The group of youths that have commonly given teenagers are bad name. Thus chavs should be hung up, shot, gutted, quartered and run over by a Buick.
To identify a chav, use the common aging sports brands, the stupid gorilla look and walk, the burbery clothing and baseball caps that are too small for their own head. The chav generally has a very low IQ - ranging between -4 and 3.
The motives to chavs actions are the appearance of wanting to be 'Bling' (as the chavites say). The 'Ardnuts' are the most commonly respected and thus the most hated.
Kev: "Bling bling innit my homie Mary?"
Mary: "Innit Kev!"
Kev: "You gotta fag?"
Mary: "What the fuck you think i'd give you a fab ya gay?"
Kev: "Aye yer mum."
Mary: "Back off nigga before I pop an Ice Cream in your ass!"
Kev: "Let's fuck off and happy slap some old wankers!"
Mary: "Aye yer mum."
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Chav/ Chavette(female)/ Neds/ Kevs etc
Robert Hartland's version, Influenced By Stewart Goodarzi and William Sewell (thankyou).
A young teenage yobo wearing, a real fake burberry Check hat at 90degrees with the front Quiff of his hair gelled! For the t-shirt, A stone island/henry loyd/ or also a sh*tty old addidas t-shirt (commonly worn by the cheap chavs!)is a must have.
For trousers; Addidas/Kappa orlecoqsportif trakkie bottoms Allways tucked into there old footie socks nicked from the local team,
For shoes a pair of sparkling white nike shocks or for the cheap chavs a pair of reebok classics.
But to top it all off they flash off their recently stolen Bling, Bling!! from the back of an argos truck. While smoking the cheapest fags around (Richmond superking are the favorites) and chopsing an innocent 16/17yr old boy who is just trying to walk home in peace.
The female version of this known as kappa slapper or chavette she acts in a similar way and dresses in similar fasion except 3 differences these are, 1) They hav to keep 1 hand free so they may push around there pram with there recently born baby drapped in burberry clothes.
2)They wear their hair in a tight bunch known as the 'Council housed face lift'
3)They wear hooped earings so big a 20stone man could use them as a hoop to swing round and round his waist.
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council house associated vermin
chav: person who live's on benifit but doesn't benifit society him: (chav, her: (chavette)
unlike people who are just out of luck, these people, 'chav's' actively avoid work and are a nuisance to normal people. is associated with council houses, but can be a fashion statement for the lower IQ, eg, Jade Goody, Jordan, N-Dubbs, (could be spelt different, but who cares)
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The chav is much like a wild beast. The chav is commonly found in packs hunting on the open plains of the council estate. Their main source of food is found at the local McDonalds, where a Big Mac and fries will see them tamed for over 20 minutes.
The chav's delicacy is known as Vegrandis Parvulus or Small Child.
Aproaching a chav is thought to be very dangerous, especially of you are under the age of 12 and/or a lone female.
Chavs are also responsible for the crime ratings increase that their country of origin has seen over the last 5 years. Unfortunatly, chavs are seen as the cancer of the United Kingdom and as such, many professionals have been searching for a cure. As of yet, all known cures are still illegal.
The chav is also known to posess many magical powers. A chav can afford to own a car and modify it to the extreme (maxing), whilst still being on the dole. The chavs powers also extend to their ability to 'Get away with murder' in a court of law. Law abiding, tax-paying citzens should stay clear of any legal conflicts when it comes to chavs, as they will undoubtably be found to be at fault. Yes, if you was subject to an unprovoked attack by a group of 20 chavs, and left for dead, you will have been recorded on their knock-off video mobile phones and will be found guilty in a court of law for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and using excessive force to protect yourself.
The chav is however misunderstood. Many people beleive that the chav is illiterate. This is untrue! How else would they know that the paper they have picked up is the 'daily sport'?
The chav also has a very high reproductive system, partially due to the fact that they would 'Shag a trapped rat' and their lack of experience with contraceptives.
The chav is also inexplicably strong as a pack of 20+. On it's own a chav is about as solid as a new-born baby's turd.
The female of the species is known as the Chavette, and commonly wears a white knock-off tracksuit and 9crt Gold plated Clown Pendant.
The male of the species is known as the Chav, and can be seen sporting burberry, tracksuits and cheap 9crt Gold plated Soveriegn Rings. These also double up as a weapon.
The prefered method of transport is a mates clapped out, highly modified, 2-door shit box of a car with an oversized exhaust and clap trap stereo. They are skilled in getting more people into a small car than any other species known to man kind.
Jordan, A.K.A Katie Price - The ultimate chavette; Big titted minger with a fake orange tan.
Blazin' Squad - Pack of numerous dickheads trying to rap someone elses songs.
Goldie lookin' chain - Group of welsh wannabe rappers.
There are many more. If you wish to see the Chav in it's natural habitat, visit McDonalds on a Saturday Afternoon or take an evening stroll through your local council estate. (Please, do not go 'Chav Watching' alone)
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A bunch of white kids who think they are hardcore gangsters from the ghettos and listen to "phat beats" such as Blazin' Squad and So Solid Crew, which they think is gangster music, when it is no more than pop music with annoying "raps" and "beats". They are usually popular at school and go around acting "propa hard" beating up and pushing around anyone that's not popular or a chav like them. They also like to call anyone that likes rock music a "goff" "mosha" or "grunga". Avoid these mindless fuckwits at any chance you can.
See wigger
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Chavs (Chavies, Kegs, Charva, Ned, Mush, Scally etc) are the (unfortunatly) most common sub culture of modern day Britain. The chav or "Council house and violent" or "Council House Average Vermin" are vicious to any other sub culture (or a person that is of no sub culture at all) to an extreme extent. "Moshers, emos, grungers and greebs" are some of their more favourite targets. They resort to violence at the first sign of when they belive they are being threatened or when the simply do not understand something (basically....they are stupid beyond all reason). The only way to avoid a confrontation with a chav is to simply not start one, if you provoke "it", "it" will retaliate with extreme force (aka until ure "beefed"). Over all chavs are very dangerous and the only way to fully avoid, or keep the peace with them is to prevent contact completly or if u have the unfortunate experience of meeting a chav, be as simple (using as many small words as possible) and vaguely polite as you can.
"Wot?" "You startin' mush?!" "Innnniiiiiittt" "I iz well a chavvy chav gangsta'" "Chavs rule"
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