Meet the engineer

Hey look buddy. I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems.

A shot rings out and a bullet hole appears next to the Engineer's head

Engie: Not problems like "What is beauty?", 'cause that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.

Another two bullet holes appear, on the other side of the Engie's head.

Engineer: I solve practical problems.

the shot zooms out to show a level 2 sentry shooting offscreen while the Engie takes a long drink from his beer.

Heavy: AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Engineer: For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean Mother-Hubbard from tearin' me a structurally superfluous new behind?

A level 1 sentry turns around and shoots a sniper who was trying to creep up on the Engie from behind.

Engineer: The answer? Use a gun. And if that don't work, use more gun.

Another level 3 sentry fired a salvo of rockets, blowing up someone offscreen.

Someone, probably the scout: MY AAAARRRMMMM!!!!!

a blown-off hand lands at the Engie's feet

Engie: Like this, heavy-caliber tripod-mounted little-old-number designed by me,

Engie kicks the hand off screen as a level 1 sentry blows it apart

Engie: Built by me,

A level 1 sentry shoots offscreen

Engie: and you best hope;

The Engie's expression darkens, and he stares right at the camera

Engie: not pointed at you.

have you seen Meet the engineer?

merry meet

A greeting used by witches, pagans, and Wiccans in speech and in writing. It stands for the words of a chant, "merry meet and merry part and merry meet again," commonly used at the end of ceremonies. "Merry meet" can also used as a closing or goodbye, but blessed be is the more common way to sign a letter or say goodbye.

Merry meet, friend! It's good to see you!

99👍 5👎

Idol Meeting

Used in japanese idols and vtuber communities as an euphemism for peeing

please wash your hands after going to an idol meeting

46👍 1👎

dick meeting

A gathering in which one or more dicks are present.

Oy! Gingerballs! What... are you on your way to a... dick meeting?

38👍 1👎

Peak Meeting

Peak meeting is the point in time when the maximum rate of attention extraction is reached, after which the rate of attention enters terminal decline.

Attention extraction rate is not proportionate to the volume of input over time at any one said meeting. If nothing of importance is said in the first 10 minutes commence Coffee Break.

Equation:

Length of Meeting = Rate of Novelty + Caffeine Level (-Sleep Deprivation Amount) ---> When it trends negative, all communication ceases. Standard Deviation for an expired meeting is about 10 minutes.

Employee 1: You cure can tell everyones attention span dropped 20 minutes into it the meeting.

Employee 2: Yeah the peak meeting was definitely 15 minutes.

Emergency Meeting

A meme format, that has to do with the popular game Among Us. Originally created by u/imyourdadboiyee on reddit.

Bulletin Board #1: Daughter missing!
Bulletin Board #2 Daughter for sale!
EMERGENCY MEETING

27👍 2👎

meeting narcolepsy

When an individual falls asleep as a side effect of a boring office meeting.

I don't know why but each time we have a team meeting, Chris suffers from sudden meeting narcolepsy.