A dick so far up my ass my body recognizes it as a new organ

When someone takes a cock and shoves it so far up your ass your body recognizes it as a new organ.

Dude 1: I read the book A dick so far up my ass my body recognizes it as a new organ.\
Dude 2: Yeah man A dick so far up my ass my body recognizes it as a new organ is a good book

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my dog ate my homework

basically its an excuse for not doing ur homework

example:
Teacher: Timmy did u do ur homework?
Timmy: Sorry, my dog ate my homework.
Teacher: Timmy, i know u didnt do ur homework thats why im giving u 1 week detention!
Timmy: Aw man :(

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Wear my dick on my sleeve

It's when you are not ashamed to show people that you are sexual.

Trust me honey i wear my dick on my sleeve, so why don't we just go with the flow.

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through my eyes, out my ass

The written word variant of 'in one ear, out the other.'
When a message is read but not comprehended because you didn't care or were distracted.

Nick: did you get my text? Or my email?!
Crystal: yeh I did, but they went through my eyes, out my ass.

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my cat ate my frogs testicles

a phrase meaning: i give up

i keep getting the answer wrong. that’s it. my cat ate my frogs testicles. peace out losers.

I wear my heart on my sleeve

When a person displays their feelings instead of hiding them.

John: Hey Kate, I wear my heart on my sleeve, have you noticed?

Kate: What does that mean?

John: It means I openly display my feelings.

Kate: Oh well then yes, I can see that clearly, you have feelings for me.

John: Yes ma'am, I love you!

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To my sunshine and my little drugaronie...

This is for my lovely, amazing, adorable, funny, and just overall perfect girlfriend. She is AMAZING!!!!!!! I love you and doing shit with you baby girl. Youre mine forever ♥

This is To my sunshine and my little drugaronie...

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