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When a dude is bent over a couch and getting ass ponded so hard, the couch gets moved around the room, along with any other furniture in the way
Tito: Lynch hurt his back and isn’t going to play frisbee golf?
John: How’d he do that?
Tito: His boyfriend was pounding him so hard it knocked something loose.
Lynch: Ya, he moved my couch from one side of the house to the other. He was really movin’ furniture.
-The names have been changed to protect the victims.
Outdoor furniture is used when referring to a females naked breasts. Often used in conjunction with indoor furniture, referring to pussy.
"I spilled all over her outdoor furniture" (I came all over her chest)
"Her outdoor furniture was very natural"
"She definitely replaced the outdoor furniture. This new set is rock hard" (she got a boob job and now her tits a hard.
The only retail establishment that starts out in bankruptcy. Within 30 days of opening, there will be a teenager standing roadside in front of the furniture store holding a sign that states they are having a “going out of business sale” and all furniture must go, prices up to 70% off.
Hey Jim, I’m heading out to look at leather couches at that new furniture store on Route 1. Is that kid out front yet holding the going out of business sale, or has it not been 30 days yet?
The devils work. Incredibly difficult to pronounce AND put together. Only couples who want to break up will try to build IKEA furniture together.
Man: "I tried building a apelviken once, me and my girlfriend broke up because of it"
Woman: "what the hell is an apelviken?"
Man: "IKEA furniture"
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The lent, dust, crumbs, spare change and other unidentifiable stuff that is found between and under the cushions of lounge chairs and sofas.
We have got to do a better job of cleaning the house. I reached down between the sofa cushions yesterday and pulled out all of this furniture funk, it was disgusting. sofa stank, chair cheese, lent crumbs, furniture dust, dust devils
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When a customer comes into a furniture store multiple times throughout the week and walks around looking at the same things without asking any questions or for help; in a zombie like manner. Furniture Zombies also never buy and waste your time. This is similar to a Furniture Vampire but a Furniture Zombie doesn’t speak or acknowledge that a sales person is even there. A Furniture Zombie episode could last 20 seconds to 2 hours. The typical age of a Furniture Zombie is the ages 70 and up. At least 1 out of 10 customers is considered a Furniture Zombie. If a Furniture Zombie is under the age of 70 then you have a rare form of Furniture Zombie which might be better or worse than a typical Furniture Zombie.
Susan had a classic Furniture Zombie. The woman was 80 years old and she was previously in the past two days looking at all of the furniture pieces on the floor. Susan asked her if she could help but the woman didn't respond and looked like a zombie.
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When i was twelve i was six three, when i went to play championships for our basketball tournament this guy said, "That guy must eat furniture he's huge!"
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