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Offensive eating

When sharing a limited amount of food or snacks with one or several of your (often fat) friends, the technique Offensive eating must be adopted.

Offensive eating include activities such as: eating as fast as you can, grabbing huge amounts at a time, hiding away parts for later - all to ensure you get more than your friend(s), or at least the same amount as them. Several degrees of offensive eating exist - the most affective (but also the most obvious to your friends) are licking the entire serving. Be aware: This technique will probably not work on fatties, southerners or poor people.

Host 1: Shit bro, Kenny is coming over later and all we have is one bag of chips...
Host 2: Prepare for some serious offensive eating - Kenny is Louisiana trailer-trash...

by Yeah, IΒ΄m talking to you! April 2, 2011


Secretary of Offense

The new name for the Secretary of Defense. Apparently, the best defense is now a good offense. The United States attacks and invades nations if they feel it might benefit them in any way. This, in turn, has led to more support in the Middle East for their Secretary of Offense: Al Qaeda.

Ron Paul: "Extremists don't attack us because we are rich and free. They attack us because we have been OVER THERE!"

You can thank our Secretary of Offense for that!

by boomsham777 April 21, 2011

48πŸ‘ 10πŸ‘Ž


the tit offensive

Pun on Tet offensive. Phrase defining the backlash created in 2004 when thousands of people were outraged by the showing of a semi-clad breast by Ms. Janet Jackson on the Super Bowl half-time show.

The Janet Jackson super bowl fiasco has become such an issue that now can be called the "Tit Offensive".

by Mr. Tinkertrain March 4, 2004

24πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž


Gallipoli Offensive

A WW1 offensive that involved the raiding of the Gallipoli peninsula. Allied troops landed on the beachheads and made an attempt to capture Gallipoli, and push back the Ottomans. The raid sustained about 500,000 casualties, and the Ottomans managed to hold the peninsula.
The Australian and New Zealand Army Corps (ANZAC) are well known for this offensive.

The Gallipoli offensive was a disaster for allied forces.

by Silvicat April 5, 2017

11πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Retro Offensive

Something from the past that wasn't offensive then, but all of a sudden is offensive now.

Politicians are making everything retro offensive to further their agendas.

by Norm F. February 8, 2019

11πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


folding offense

An outrageous mistake, misunderstanding, or insult. Unforgivable behavior.

I don’t care how many time you apologize, Jess; it was a folding offense.

by Jessica Loraine March 12, 2021

12πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


puckable offense

A provocation by an individual that warrants retaliation by way of a piss puck.

A puckable offense occurs often in dorm rooms on college campuses for a multitude of reasons.

Puckable offenses include, but are not limited to:
--Drinking the last beer in someone else's fridge
--Puking in someone's room
--Blaring loud music at a late hour, prohibiting sleep
--Just being an unlikeable asshole

Tom walks into Jim's dorm room while Jim and friends are drinking.

Tom: What's up Jim? (takes last beer from fridge)

Jim: Hey, that's my last beer.

Tom: I know, thanks. I'll get you back sometime. (leaves room)

Jim: (talking to others in room) Tom is such an asshole. Taking my last beer is definitely a puckable offense.

(Jim creates a piss puck, waits till 3 AM and kicks in under Tom's door)

by CM$ney May 11, 2009

18πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž