patient hoarding

Keeping patients coming back for as long as you can, for the rest of their lives if at all possible. The goal is to keep a steady stream of patients coming in, by keeping as many patients on your list as possible, so as to maximize your weekly income. You don't want to completely cure them, or they might decide they don't need you anymore. You just need to make them feel like they're making progress, slowly but surely.

Psychiatrists and therapists are especially notorious for this. They will often make you feel that your condition is incurable, although treatable. Of course, some people, including those with chemical imbalances, may need a lifelong course of treatment. But some others, who may just be going through a difficult time in their lives, may not.

Some doctors do want to see their patients get cured and move on, if possible. But some (the patient hoarders) want to keep as many patients coming back as possible, for as long as possible.

As long as this doctor continues her practice of patient hoarding, you will have to make appointments well in advance because she will be booked solid for weeks, or even months, at a time.

Mental Patient

What I call myself.

Person 1: I think murder’s okay 🤪🤪🤪🤪 /j
Person 2: You mental patient

What did the dermatologist say to the itchy patient?

Don’t make any rash decisions

What did the dermatologist say to the itchy patient? Rash

Patient Baseball

Denying a patient care who brings a high risk of involving you in a malpractice case stemming from other doctors.

The doctors here in Indianapolis have been playing patient baseball with me since Dr. Clark botched a surgery and another doctor refused to treat me for foreign body reaction, to the mesh that he put in after being acknowledging in records that I did not approve.

whore patient

A long-term (or frequent flyer) patient in a hospital, rehab, or nursing home. After some time has passed, the patient has been taken care of by each staff member at least once.

Charge Nurse: John you're taking care of 420 today, sorry its your turn.

RN John: Aww man! I know they're nice and all, but they can be so needy. What a whore patient

Patient: Nurse I need the bedpan again

patient sixty seven

BLEGH

Have you heard of Patient sixty seven?

BLEGH he responded with

stimulated patient

Stimulated patient is an actual profession, where the person who has this as his career acts like a sick person so that medical students can practice their medical bedside manners on him

" what do you do for living?"

"I'm a part time stimulated patient "