Random
Source Code
Random
a state in southwest usa, where it's illegal to penetrate your wifes rectum consensually
husband: hey i wanna fuck you in the ass tonight
wife: in the state of texas its illegal
husband: are you serious? fuck that lets move back to cali
111👍 98👎
A place where people are actually free. Socialism hates Texas. You can find green trees, beautiful cities, vast open plains, windmills, oil wells, farms, and diversity like nowhere you've seen. No they don't all cuss in Texas, no they don't wear Cowboy gear. A texans power is only rivaled by beings such as the florida man. God bless America!
You from Texas?
Yeah why
Don't you hate the dust and tumbleweeds?
What dust and thmble weeds? I don't live in a 1940s movie!
4👍 3👎
A state with an unhealthy and somewhat pedophilic obsession with high school football.
Number 12's got a nice ass. It makes me hot, but I ain't no fag.
285👍 276👎
The only state where you can get the death penalty for jaywalking.
At the Texas grocery store, six-year old Louis tore open a bag of gummi worms and took one out, then ate it. After surveillance cameras caught him, he was arrested and sentenced to death.
131👍 118👎
i wasnt born in texas, i was born in connecticut. i eventually moved to texas, and i never plan on leaving. i have lived everywhere, england, california, alabama. texas kicks major ass. lemme clear up a few things for u fucking retards:
1) texas doesnt have the highest concentration of gays in the US california does. ever heard of san francisco? it is one of the 10 most populated cities in the US and it is the gay capital of the US. go to san francisco and i bet u wont find many straight clubs. thats where u belong anyway
2) "heard of the silicon valley? also, Microsoft is in Washington"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! everyone, if u give a shit about where microsoft hq is, let me know................. anyone?...................out there?...........someone?................guess not
3) "don't make any comments about Arnold Schwarzenegger. he's still Republican, while California isn't"
Well now,...... could u please tell me how the fuck that managed to happen? i didnt realize political parties could make u blush.
4) "george bush also won the state of Texas in the 2000 presidential election"
i would think that would happen 'cuz he is a republican and so is texas, dumbfuck.
5) "i'm sure alaskans would say their weather isn't bad, because they're used to it."
california has earthquakes, they can sometimes kill thousands of people at a time, but thats ok, im sure they are all used to it.
6) "however, you don't see anyone moving to Texas for the weather, do you?"
hold on, i must have missed when you made a logical point out of this statement. why the hell would anyone move anywhere because of weather. if weather really bothers u that much, stay the fuck indoors, pussy.
7) "snow and hail, in the middle of summer"
i could not stop myself after reading this one. i had to get on the floor and roll laughing for at least 10 minutes. it doesnt snow in texas u imbecil. and hail, i havent seen hail in this state in 6 years. how could it snow this far south. that is the kind of genious thinking that got the Governator elected.
8) "the corrupt oil tycoons, Enron executives"
yeah i know, enron was started in texas, so what? am i supposed to feel ashamed of myself. it aint workin yet. wherever u live ought to be ashamed of themselves because of a failure like u. i didnt even understand the sentence i took this quote from, i took the most coherent part. u need to go back to preschool english class where a shit for brains dumbfuck like u belongs.
9) yes, we do have (and use) the death penalty."
"-this is something to be happy about..? if this is meant to be impressive, Utah's death penalty is death by firing squad. and, yes, they use it to"
death by firing squad eh? trust me, i give a shit. no really (cough). is THAT something to brag about. well at least i can brag about intelligence instead of how people get killed in a state. Utah uses firing squads, WHOPPIE!! u just made my day. but i'll humor u with the ooooooooooooo and aaaaaaaaaaah i think u were after.
Texas is a fine state which deserves no ridicule at all. u can either love texas, or get the fuck out.
u guys seriously need to consider what u say from now on to make sure it isnt that stupid ever again
231👍 225👎
Well, as a Texan, I guess I'll throw my two cents in...Texas is a great place to live. I know alot of people from other parts of the country think "Hicks, Rednecks, Incest, Ignorant, Dumb, ect, ect..." But, the fact of the matter is, Texas is a real diverse state, with large metropolitans such as Houston, and Dallas/Ft. Worth, and also vast areas of rural towns and farm/ranchland. Now, im a country boy, but that doesn't mean that im racist, eat possum, and only listen to country music. Ya, I do have a 4x4, and yes, I do live on a small ranch with horses and cattle and such. Plus the Cowboy boots and all that stuff, But thats just me, not all of Texas. I like all genres of music, From Rap/Hip Hop, Rock (and all subgenres that go along with it), Country, and a whole bunch of other stuff. We've got all different races, creeds, religions, and beliefs, Some of the finest Colleges in the nation, and just down right good people. Ya, the weather is pretty wild, but hey, ya get used to it, or at least I have, I cant really speak for others. All in all, some of yall just need to it thru your thick, opinionated, stereotypical heads that Texas is not what you think it is...yeah, big words huh? Well, Texas has a pretty good education system, 3.6 GPA, in a town of about 800. Just thought I'd throw that in there, for kicks.
Oh, and btw, we're not responsible for Bush, he does what he does, we cant help that, plus, hes from Conn. Blame them. and, Yeah, Our flag can fly at the same height as the Nation's flag, but as a state/prior nation, We've earned that right, so dont be jealous...
Non-Texan #1: Texas is nothing but cows, horses and Cowboys...
Non-Texan #2: Lets not forget all the Hicks and uneducated redneck racists!
Texan: Oh Yeah!? Try tellin' a Texan that, even the country ones, I bet you wont be happy with the outcome...
63👍 56👎
the only thing bigger than infinity
you know whats bigger than infinity
what?
texas
76👍 67👎