Random
Source Code
Random
A layer of toilet paper (usually somewhere between 3 and 8 pieces) laid down on the surface of water within the toilet bowl before one has a bowel movement. This layer of toilet paper, or ‘landing pad’, serves a 3-fold purpose: (1) To prevent the dreaded splashback effect caused by the fecal displacement of water; (2) To soften the “KER-PLUNK!” sound that often occurs when feces breaks the surface tension of the water (this is particularly effective because the toilet paper disables the properties of water’s surface tension by acting as a semi-permeable membrane, a sort of dampening medium between water and air; further, the speed of the displacement of the water is lessened, which makes for a much softer noise); and (3) To bring about an awareness of the TP supply before use, negating any chance that one might have a bowel movement, only to look over and notice that there is no toilet paper.
Johnny: "Dude, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents for the first time last night. Halfway through the night I realised that I needed to take a massive dump, which was uncomfortable because the bathroom was next to the living room where they were sitting, and the house was dead quiet"
Billy: "No way, man... what did you do?"
Johnny: "I built a wicked landing pad, so not only did they not hear me, but I was also able to stay as dry as a cracker for the whole experience. What a night it was!"
153👍 11👎
An imaginary land of idleness, luxury, ease and plenty.
Where physical comforts and pleasures are always immediately at hand and where the harshness of medieval peasant life does not exist.
Like Atlantis and El Dorado, the land of Cokayne was a fictional utopia, a place where, in a parody of paradise, idleness and gluttony were the principal occupations. In Specimens of Early English Poets (1790), George Ellis printed a 13th century French poem called "The Land of Cokaigne" where
the houses were made of barley sugar and cakes, the streets were paved with pastry, and the shops supplied goods for nothing.
According to Herman Pleij,Dreaming of Cokaigne: Medieval Fantasies of the Perfect Life (2001):
roasted pigs wander about with knives in their backs to make carving easy, where grilled geese fly directly into one's mouth, where cooked fish jump out of the water and land at one's feet. The weather is always mild, the wine flows freely, sex is readily available, and all people enjoy eternal youth.
Cokaigne was a "medieval peasant’s dream, offering relief from backbreaking labor and the daily struggle for meager food."
The Brothers Grimm collected and retold the fairy tale in Das Märchen vom Schlaraffenland (The Tale About the Land of Cokayne).
In the 1820s, the name Cokaigne came to be applied jocularly to London, as the land of Cockneys, and thus "Cokaigne", though the two are not linguistically connected otherwise. The composer Edward Elgar used the title "Cokaigne" for his concert overture and suite evoking the people of London, Cokaigne (In London Town) (1901)
104👍 7👎
A euphemism for breasts. Traditionally preceded by "she's got huge."
"Don't like her?! What's wrong with her? She's beautiful,
she's rich, she's got huge... tracts of land."
Bro 1: "Yo, I'm telling you dawg, that chick was fine."
Bro 2: "WTF! That buffoocka was a 4/10, at best!"
Bro 1: "Naw man, she got HUGE tracts of land."
If you pull out after anal sex and a huge shit log follows your penis and lands on the bed, the way a big fish would flop onto the floor of a boat after it's pulled out of the water, congratulations...you've landed a marlin!
When I get done with you, you'll land a marlin that would make Hemmingway proud.
110👍 8👎
Umbrella term for any type of landlord or commercial property owner.
The term is frequently used in the advocacy of the rights and interests of one of the marginalized groups in society: landlords. Landlords are frequently the targets of severe anti-PoL bigotry and landphobia from rentoids and chapocels leveling landphobic accusations such as “being a landlord is not a real job”, “landlords contribute nothing to society” and “landlords are leeches on the working class”.
People of land is one the most oppressed and marginalized groups in society.
213👍 18👎
One of the most magical series of books in existence, written by none other than the most magical man in existence; Chris Colfer.
This series is a continuation of all your favorite fairy tales featuring the answer to how so many girls married Prince Charming, what Red Riding Hood is really like, why the Evil Queen is so obsessed with the man in her mirror and so on. Everyone should read it.
"Have you read The Land Of Stories?"
"Of course! Chris Colfer is my favorite author!"
"yodie land is to be in the present moment, clearing your mind and being your fullest self" - Damian Luck
"Yea Im somewhere out in Yodie Land, blowing pack all kinds of strands" -Fulcrum while he was on a train to Yodie Land
127👍 10👎