are you shitting my dick

another way of saying; "are you kidding me?"
"are you shitting my dick?"

"Are you shitting my dick man? I just got that car and you scratched it!"

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are you shitting on my dick?!

an exclamation used when i dont believe something or someone.

Somechick: dude carlos just called me a data enry!
Me: ARE YOU SHITTING ON MY DICK?!

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You gotta be shitting me!

The total disbelief of the current situation, news or information.

Bill: "Peter, you sent over those TPS reports without the cover letter again. I need you to see me in my office."
Peter: "You gotta be shitting me!"

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Look Before You Shit

The act to checking for sufficient toilet paper before sitting down to take a shit. This will help you to avoid having to yell for somebody outside the bathroom to get you a new roll.

Boyfriend: Um, honey, can you get me some toilet paper?
Girlfriend: Sucks for you, look before you shit!

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When you jizz on shit

sam wanted creamy pepper on her hotdog

When a guy jizz on the female and takes a shit on the same spot
When you jizz on shit

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Are you shitting inside of me?

When something is so unbelievable that the phrase "are you shitting me?" is not enough. It demonstrates that the action taking place, or the event being described is so monstrously horrific that it literally feels like someone is taking a massive shit inside of your chest. Basically, the worst feeling ever is happening, and at this point you're questioning why the fuck.

Douche: LOL I TOTALLY RAPED THIS CHILD WITH A PITCHFORK OF AIDS
Person: ...are you shitting inside of me?
Douche: ...No? But I could be.

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Can you shit pink

Can you shit pink, meaning its a no and never going to happen.

Someone: Can you do this for me?
Me: Can you shit pink?