Having a cup of tea

Synonym for having sex. Often used when talking about sexual consent.

If someone is unconscious, don't give them a cup of tea.

"Where's George?"
"He's having a cup of tea"

Sometimes, people agree to having a cup of tea. But then, when the tea is ready, they might realise, that they don't want it anymore. Sure, that sucks, but you wouldn't force them to have a cup of tea.

I have a boyfriend

Good for you

Jenny: I have a boyfriend
Max: Noone cares

caught having a stroke

This is when a guy gets gets caught masturbating.

He was caught having a stroke.

should have swallowed

An unwanted pregnacy

Yep I am preggers. I should have swallowed

having a wafty crank

a term used to refer male masterbation

see also wanking, pulling your pudding, bashing the bishop.

I have needs

A colloquial phrase signifying an overlooked state of demand, exigency, or indispensability addressing to one's response to oppression, selfless dedication, or inadequacy of a type of necessity.
See Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

"I work 10 hours a day, 7 days a week with minimum wage so i could feed my children and send them to school. I have needs too."

Girlfriend: "How come we never do it?"
Boyfriend: "Cause, you know about my disorder. You know.. down there."
Girlfriend: "I have needs, you know. Do you want me to go fuck some other nigga?"

how to have sex

Fuck her right in the pussy

"I came out of my house and, FUCKED HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY"-Fred

How to have sex