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The act of masturbating an invisible penis with your hand in an effort to either piss people off or make them laugh depending on the situation.
This drunk asshole started shit with this waiter at Denny's the other night and when his friends started dragging him out he kept yelling at the poor guy. My friend Dan thought he was a dick like me so he started doing the phantom jerk. His girlfriend thought it was hilarious but he got pissed at us. When the asshole asked what our problem was Dan just did a toothy grin and said "problem?"
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Phantom beef is when you enter a room or other enclosed area and are certain that somebody has or is farting in it but nobody is there to blame it on. Not to be confused with a bathroom that smells like somebody just blew the shitter off the hinges. Totally different.
Dude, were you in the mop closet today? I went in there for some paper towels and it stunk like shit.
Nah bruh, I was in there yesterday and it didn't smell, must be phantom beef.
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to cum surprise a pissed off girlfriend
I was having anal sex with my girlfriend last week and she was being a bitch earlier so I pretended that I came,spat on her back and when she turned around I blew a load all over her face. That's how you phantom someone.
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When you think you feel your phone vibrate, but its just your imagination.
"Hey i think ur phone just vibrated"
*checks phone* "Naw, just a Phantom Vibration"
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Similar to phantom limb syndrome, Phantom Beard Syndrome (PBS) occurs when a man has had facial hair for an extended period of time and then for whatever reason decides to shave it. He is likely to still think the facial hair is there, feel it, or even attempt to stroke it even though it is gone.
I shaved off my goatee before joining the army 4 years ago and I can still feel it today. I thing I have Phantom Beard Syndrome.
Phantom Text Syndrome, or PTS, is an acute neurological phenomenon characterized by thinking you have received a text from someone (i.e. by vibration or sound indicator) when actually nothing has occurred. Recently coined by world-renowned Psychologist Gustav Kuznetsova, PTS is now accepted by the American Psychological Association.
Guy 1: (Abruptly reaches into his pocket)
Guy 2: "Got a text, dude?"
Guy 1: "Yeah, let me just…"(Pulls phone out to see a blank screen) "Oh, wait.
Forget it. Guess I was wrong."
Guy 3: "Phantom Text Syndrome!!!"
Guy 2: "Yo, I think they got meds for that shit now."
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When a guys ball(s) randomly and suddenly begins to be severely painful for absolutely no reason. Soon after, this pain will just as suddenly dissapear as it had appeared in the first place, leaving the guy wondering "What the hell caused that??"
"I was sitting at my desk working when BAM!!, Phantom Ball Pain. I could barely move for like 5 minutes!"
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