Can't Handle It

My brother Johnathan, given a million opportunities and chances in life, yet still setup for failure because of plain stupidity and drug addiction.

Jake: oh man i just ruined this expensive thing.... Ethan: you just done a Can't Handle It!

Sorry, I Can't Be With You On Valentines Day

A cheating asshole.

"Sorry, I Can't Be With You On Valentines Day. I have this big project..."

I can't compeed

When the blister already burst and you can't put a Compeed brand band aid on it

"Try putting on a Compeed" - "Nah, bitch's already burst, i can't compeed!"

You can't take a horse to water

You can't force a person to do what they don't want to do.

You can't take a horse to water is a useful phrase to learn when making friends.

I can't find it

Something you say to your mum when you can't find something, moments before she instantly out of nowhere finds it.

Timmy: Mum? I can't find it.
Mum: *does magic shit, before summoning it out of thin air.* SEE I FOUND IT UR DUM-ASS EYES

Can't Control Time

Can't Control Time is a general phrase people use who are unwilling to accept responsibility for their own faulty time management.

7:30 am
Person A: What are you still doing sleeping Person B, I told you we have to be at the kids school at 7 45?!?
Person B: God, don't get so mad, I can't control time

You can't blame one without blaming the other

This phrase is used when indicating that both parties are to blame and that it is unfair to blame only one side without the other.

Sidney - He is a terrible person, she should leave him.

Maria - You can't blame one without blaming the other, she's not been the perfect wife.