can’t touch this

da nanana, da na na. Da nanana

person 1 - (singing)“can’t touch this.”
person 2 - (singing) da nanana, da na. Da nanana, da na
person 1 and person 2 do be vibing doe

iPod Touch

the #1 thing that people with iPhones hate, unless they also have an ipod touch.

iphone - phone - sms - 3g = ipod touch

easiest way to tell the difference is whether or not there is a speaker on the top part.

"hey is that an iphone?"
"nope, just an ipod touch"
"damn ipods..."

44👍 70👎

Touches kids

Any object, event or other thing that is so awful, so unpleasant or of such poor quality that if it were a person it would actually interfere with small children.

"Hey Bob, have you heard Pink's new album?"

"No way Joey, she's fucking shit. ALL her music touches kids".

Typically used when something is so bad it not only sucks cock and blows goats, it touches kids as well.

5👍 4👎

Touch grass

Something League of Legends players can’t do

Stop playing League and touch grass

4👍 5👎

touching the turtle

Female masturbation

Big Texas Hair is sitting in her cubical touching the turtle. I heard her moans and now I want to wash my ears out with bleach.

Your girlfriend looks really happy.
Yeah, we were in the other room, playing touch the turtle.

4👍 3👎

touch base

Saying that you'll "touch base" with someone is really just a fancy or more professional-sounding way of saying: "I'll make sure to bother you about this later."

It's a term that generally only white people use or that you only use when speaking to white people or that you only use when trying to sound white. Either way, if anyone is "touching base" with anyone else, white people have to be involved somehow.

Laura: "OK, now that we have an initial plan for Friday, I'll touch base with you tomorrow to make sure no issues have come up between now and then."

Tom: "Laura, we're just going to be hanging out at the mall. Stop being so freaking white about it!"

45👍 75👎

ipod touch

a despicable sex act, crossing a chili dog with an angry dragon and a strawberry shortcake. The man defecates between the woman's breasts and proceeds to titifuck her using the fecal matter as lubricant. The woman finishes the man off with her mouth, and when the man has ejaculated he punches her in the stomach and then the nose, which mixes his ejaculate with her blood on her face. The man then proceeds to eat it as if at a normal meal, entree (chili) then dessert (strawberry shortcake)

Bro 1: dude i totally ipod touched your mom last night
Bro 2: dude you're fucking sick
Bro 1: she suggested it

126👍 241👎