Awkward Turtle

In real American Sign Language. It means Platypus.

Friend making Awkward Turtle sign.
Friend who knows better: "Platypus?"

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Turtle Fucker

A name that is given to any older man, or woman that is hindering your speed, whether you are driving, walking, running (etc.).It is not uncommon for them to possess horrible driving skills, and driving through banks, salons, grocery stores, and gas stations happens more often than not.

Driver: I am going to be late, get out of my way Turtle Fucker!

Grocery Shopper: Move you damn Turtle Fucker and quit staring at the laxatives, it's not that damn hard to decide!

Grocery Shopper #2: It shouldn't take that long to write a check, get some glasses Turtle Fucker!

Grocery Shopper #3: Damn-it Turtle Fucker, no it isn't cheaper than that, quit getting price checks!

Betty drove into the gas station and injured the clerk because she is a Turtle Fucker.

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Turtle Ass

A person, typically male, who wants to get drunk every weekend and thinks that country music is the shit. Most people who dislike the turtle ass usually hang out with them because they are from a remote city where the population is outnumbered by the amount of live stock. When you see a turtle ass, call him a turtle ass. Don't pass up the opportunity.

Look at that turtle ass!

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turtle suit

Kelvar vest or body armor

GIs often don't want to wear turtle suits because it restricts their moblity and range of motion, but it has proven to have saved hundreds of lives.

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Turtle Soup

A code word for sexual intercourse. It can be used at parties to communicate between friends in front of females and they will have no clue as to what you are talking about. You can never get full off of turtle soup and it always leaves you wanting more.

Dude, I'm having turtle soup tonight!

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turtle hull

The trunk of an automobile.

I travel with a first aid kit in my turtle hull.

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Playing Turtle

It's an expression use to describe the harsh feelings of wanting to use the toilet really badly.

Is a game where two or more people try to hold out from craping in there pants the longest. The winner is the person who does not shit themselves.

You know how a turtle sticks his head in and out of its shell? Well that's what I'm doing to my ass, I'm playing turtle with my crap.

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