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Random
Masturbating, to the point of ejaculation.
Oh no, it takes less time for me too shoot the goose now than it did 5 years ago. Is that a common problem?
4👍 8👎
Sending a blank text message by mistake, or due to a phone malfunction of some kind.
Man 1: "Damn it, I keep shooting blanks! I can't wait for my plan to expire, so that I can get a new phone with a WORKING keyboard."
Man 2: "Man, I wish I had that problem with my girlfriend, but I wouldn't re-up until I'm at least 30."
Man 1: "I take it that you started praying for false positives?"
94👍 397👎
This is when you're sitting on the toilet after a hellacious night of binge drinking, releasing the kraken of your asshole into the porcelain abyss, and you realize...
"Oh, man I'm gonna puke"
But there's no trash can in sight, so you have to "shoot the gap." For the gentleman, pull your cock and balls somewhere out of sight and aim..
This is the epitome of epic bodily fluid excavation.
Oh, I missed...I missed...Stan, I'm so sorry. I couldn't shoot the gap.
20👍 68👎
Knows as the anus.Or bumm hole where you shit.
Mommy I need to take a shit my Poop shoot is full. lmao
17👍 57👎
Ejaculating over your partners ass (booty) after you've had sex doggy style or anal sex with them
Man, Jess was so hot last night - after I rear ended her I had to pull out and Shoot the Booty!
2👍 3👎
When you fold over a few sheets of toilet paper and place them floating on top of the water like a river raft before you dump. When you shit, it lands on the paper, but doesn't allow water to splash up- thus attaining a splashless crap.
Charmin Ultra is the best material.
Dave: Dude, yesterday, I had the brown bomber attack.
Jake: Damn. Did you drag shoot it?
Dave: Of course, I don't want to have a wet seat!
2👍 3👎
When a person talks just to hear themselves talk ... nobody cares about what they are saying because it doesn't make any sense or is untrue.
Sam was shooting salad last night at the bar ...She was talking about Veronica because she doesn't like her.
2👍 3👎