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Advantage Wank

When your parents are out, you put on Heavy Metal really loud and run around the house headbanging, screaming and wanking all at the same time.

Tip: Make sure your parents ARE actually out at the time.

Hizumi: "Last time I had an advantage wank was in November

It was awesome

I did it in all different places in the house, and had several thousand orgasms. The next door neighbours raised their eyebrows a bit, but oh well."

Me: "What music did you use?"

Hizumi: "Arch Enemy, D'espairsRay, Dir en grey..." (Basically hardcore metal)

by Disabled Complex January 4, 2008

27๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž


wank word

In the UK and the Commonwealth, a strongly derogatory and deliberately vulgar term for a buzzword, signifying that it is worthless and meaningless jargon. Wank words may be short phrases as well as single words. The word is most often used of corporate, official, or academic language.

Also, wank-word bingo: See example. Also known as buzzword bingo or bullshit bingo in various places throughout the English-speaking world.

Before the meeting, Rose slipped everyone a sheet of paper. Each piece was ruled into a 5x5 grid of squares. Each square was filled in with a typical corporate wank word, and each sheet had a different combination of wank words.

Rose told everybody that they could make the meeting more interesting by playing wank-word bingo. She advised everyone to mark off any wank word Sir Charles uttered, and that the first person to mark off five in a line, vertically, horizontally, or diagonally, would be the winner.

Sir Charles began his presentation, and quickly came to speak of mission, vision, rightsizing, human capital, synergies, ecosystems, stakeholders, taking ownership, performance challenges, and negative outcomes. When he spoke the word "solutions", Nigel jumped up and yelled "BINGO!" Hasty and not entirely plausible explanations had to be made immediately after.

(Note: All of the above names and characters are fictional. The characters bear only coincidental resemblance to any specific individuals.)

by Leslie Doppler Hammond March 17, 2008

27๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž


wank stain

Sperm which has got into clothes or furniture that won't come out

the other night when i was wanking, i got this nasty wank stain all over my carpet

by Matt August 14, 2003

72๐Ÿ‘ 27๐Ÿ‘Ž


wank bank

A collection of material used as an visual aid during masturbation.

"Damn girl, you look fine in that photo- its going in my wank-bank"

by P May 28, 2004

351๐Ÿ‘ 161๐Ÿ‘Ž


wanking jacket

A dressing gown, a bath robe. A garment one frequently pleasures oneself in after getting morning glory but before getting dressed.

Also, just as the Victorians would change into a 'smoking jacket' before enjoying a post-prandial cigar, in order that the smell of smoke clinging to their clothes did not later harm their chances of pulling the ladies, some contemporary gentlemen may prefer to change into their wanking jackets before bashing the bishop in order to prevent unsightly jizz stains from having much the same effect.

'I'd just had a particularly erotic dream about donkey punching Mariah Carey, so when I woke up with my usual morning wood, I had to crank one out straight away. However, as it was an unseasonally cold day, I thought I had better put on my wanking jacket first, so as to prevent myself catching a cold.

by Simon Dykes May 20, 2006

29๐Ÿ‘ 9๐Ÿ‘Ž


wanking pit

a wanking pit is bed/matress that sags in the middle, smells of man sweat, covered in stains and its secondry use is to be slept on

Ok mate, come round in 30 mins, i'm still in my wanking pit

by mr smith March 8, 2005

19๐Ÿ‘ 5๐Ÿ‘Ž


wank splash

a siemen stain, or a derogatory term for a person deemed not even fit to be a wanker or a flying spunk bubble.

"Oi wank splash, you just spilt my pint!"

by jonny quango June 22, 2006

24๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž