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Jesus toke

When you take a desperate toke from a weed pipe that you've owned since high school without any weed in the hopes of achieving a high.

Yo Pepe let me take a Jesus toke, I'm parched.

by latino_hipster November 29, 2014


jesus turd

another term for holy shit

"jesus turd!!", that fish tastes like spunk.

by Joe Coupons July 02, 2006


heels to jesus

Heels to Jesus

One of the nicer ways to to describe the penetration of the vagina via the penis. This phrase is best used around family and any other people who may find the words sex, fuck, bang, poke, pork, smash, ram, bump nasties, mix your milk with my coco puffs, and intercourse offensive. To be used judiciously among friends, families, and people you have sex with. There is not a more respectable way of describing the bump and grind than saying you've gone "heels to Jesus."

"Bro, I went heels to Jesus with Becky last night! I swear I had her speaking in tongues."

by _NoneOfYourDamnBusiness_ April 21, 2015


Jesus Poop

When you take a shit, and you wipe, and the toliet paper is streak-free. This is also known as the "greatest feeling in the world". A JP in the morning, guarantees a great day to come.

It is referred to as a "JP" for short.

May is the official National JP Month

Jesus poops help save the world, by enabling the person to reuse toliet paper.

by Habu May 03, 2008


jesus clip

A spring clip that holds a pin in place.

Hand me that jesus clip.
<sound of clip flying to the other end of the garage>
Jesus! Where did it go?

by buggum September 19, 2005


jesus jugs

Hands down the most perfect titties you've ever seen as if the hand of God himself cupped and blessed each knocker. Titties so perfect you can't help but yell "JEEESUS!" when you see them.

Christina Aguillera's got jesus jugs.

by David RRRRRRR October 24, 2008


liquid jesus

An aloe gel used to soothe bad sunburns and save you from pain

I got drunk off that liquid jesus

by roix da 5-9 June 21, 2007