Crack Ho Skinny Diet

Diet so severe and lacking in nutrition, the person on it either has the goal of looking like a crack whore or trying to get back down to their birth weight. Composed of "nibbling" instead of eating, even buffet plates of food look like appetizers. Food items such as tacos and burritos are comprised of a few small pieces of rinsed turkey meat and a single sliver of cheese (if they splurge). The avid dieter even orders small waters to go with their salads to avoid the calories ice contains.

Customer: "i'll have the 3 inch turkey club sandwich with the turkey meat dragged across the bread, a pickle with no juice and a small water."
Subway: "you must be on the crack ho skinny diet."

Dieter: "I like to put lemon juice on my baked potatoe as a butter substitute, tastes just like it"
Observer: "you dumb bitch, lemon makes anything taste like LEMON!"

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one in one out diet

A diet based on making a bowel movement shortly after eating a meal to excrete the prior. Thus keeping a person at a consistent weight.

Person 1: Yo' Flossy.
Person 2: Sup?
Person 1: Hey man how do you stay so thin.
Person 2: The one in one out diet, I be shittin' all the time!

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Diet Coke Head

A “Diet Coke Head” is a person that identifies as a “Crackhead” but is just a bad person that thinks their funny and “quirky” when really they’re really just a normal person that tries so hard to be different.

“ Emily is such A Diet Coke Head!”
“I don’t like him, he’s a Diet Coke Head.”

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Five Minute Miracle Diet

1. To take a dump; poop
2. What to say when "blowing mud" is not appropriate

"The coffee's starting to work; time for my Five Minute Miracle Diet."

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Blood, Sand, and Cock Diet

When you don't eat because you are too busy playing Spartacus: Blood, Sand , and Cock.

Me: I must be on the Blood, Sand, and Cock Diet.
Friend: Man, what happened?
Me: I forgot to eat today, there was a Spartacus marathon and I was too busy playing Blood, Sand, and Cock.

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keith richards diet plan

when you take so many drugs, nothing can kill you

Dude 1: The drummer is teh awesome!
Dude 2: Doesn't he date back to the 70's, how old is he now?
Dude 1: He's on the Keith Richards diet plan. He does so much coke he's actually been dead for 10 years but his body is still drumming.

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Sugarfree Diet Soda

Nuclear waste. DO NOT CONSUME. Not recommended under any conditions. Drink Sand, not sugarfree diet soda.

Sugarfree Diet Soda is actually browned toilet water mixed with horse radish.

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