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verbal masturbation

Verbal Masturbation is commonly found amoung the arrogant, highly self absorbed people.
when you verbally masturbate, you essentially puke out the most disgustingly boring things about yourself, and you only ever talk about how great you are, or how great your life is, blahblahblah.
a common feeling amoung the ill-faited audience of a verbal masturbater is the hard to ignore urges to slice off the offenders head, put it in a blender, and then feed it to dogs. and if they are REALLY not worth it, feed the head to homeless people, as they will take anything.

"That prick over there kept verbally masturbating, and had me snoring for an hour."
OR
"Man, that chick is so hot, i'm gonna do the verbal masturbation all over her to show her how HOT i am"

by coocoocachoo December 2, 2005

18๐Ÿ‘ 18๐Ÿ‘Ž


tearful masturbation

When life just plain sucks and you cry and jerk off at the same time.

he couldn't get out of the friend zone so he had some tearful masturbation while listening to 'someone like you' by adele

by poopyissad December 28, 2011

18๐Ÿ‘ 18๐Ÿ‘Ž


Cultural Masturbation

When a person who is part of a culture or community identifies so strongly with it that they rarely talk about anything other than how much they love said culture and thus develop tunnel vision and narrow minded behavior.

Example 1: Tyronda's tumblr has over 300 posts about how proud she is to be black and how eminem's music is cultural appropriation. I think she has a cultural masturbation problem.

Example 2: John is always going on and on about the achievements of white people and how many things they've invented even though he hasn't accomplished anything himself. I think he suffers from chronic cultural masturbation.

by Dingledorgle December 18, 2016

7๐Ÿ‘ 5๐Ÿ‘Ž


go masturbate

... is an alternative to telling someone to go fuck themselves.

my friend: Ha ha! Your favorite team lost today because they did not perform as well as their opponent, on this particular occasion, causing them to have an inferior unit of measuring prowess by the end of the designated time frame for the event that they participated in. ( that is how my friend talks )

me: Go masturbate!

by JGuy The Great! July 16, 2011

6๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


architectural masturbation

the act of formal, visual, verbal or written self gratification (or any combination of the aforementioned) during the process of, or upon 'completion' of designing a building which is commonly post-rationalized to veil a total lack of spatial, theoretical, functional, and conceptual rigour

Architectural Masturbation is exemplified by schools and practices such as Southern California Institute of Architects, Zaha Hadid Architects, Frank Gehry, many studios at the Architectural Association and UCL Bartlett, Coop Himmelblau, all among countless other kindred spirits, next-generation torch bearers and even sloppier imitators of which one notable example is Randall Stout Architects.

by cbot07 September 26, 2013

4๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


water masturbation

Water masturbation is a trick of masturbation used by women wherein she lets water fall or sprays water on her clit to pleasure herself. If you wanna try it make sure the temperature and pressure of the water is fine.

Britney: yesterday I fingered myself in the bathroom real good it was worth it!
Layla: Nah...I prefer water masturbation!

by clumsycottontail February 11, 2021

4๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Mario Masturbation

Using the vibrating feature of a video game controller to achieve an orgasm.

I thought it was cool that my new girl friend was into video games until i walked in on her in the middle of a Mario Masturbation.

by The Real Poop Ninja December 30, 2011

4๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž