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Helicopter Gunship Parent

A helicopter parent who, to promote their child, will proactively neutralize a person perceived to hinder their own child's advancement.

The effective target of a helicopter gunship parent is a child with more talent and better performance than their own, in a activity with limited opportunities or resources. By a range of overt and covert aggressive methods, the helicopter gunship parent will remove the other child's competition, or the third party who has control over allocation of opportunities and resources, from the activity.

Characteristic outcomes of helicopter gunship parent activity are unwarranted advancement of their own child, other more talented children and their parents/teachers/organisers declining to participate or contribute to the activity, and degraded performance of the activity due to loss of talent. The benefitting child may also suffer reputational damage due to their helicopter gunship parent's activity, even if the child is unaware of the activity or an unwilling beneficiary in the activity.

Common situations of helicopter gunship parent action are sport team selection and role allocation, school drama involvement, academic or sport prizes and scholarships, and school leadership roles.

How can Adam's kids be in such high-level teams but be so doggedly mediocre and continually hold back the team performance? He is a helicopter gunship parent; over the years, he made all the better players walk away from the sport.

Tony's second-rate son got that top academic prize only because Tony is a helicopter gunship parent. I don't know how he did it but he got the award panel to quit then he got himself and his friends on it. The prize and the school is a bad joke.

by Innocent Bypasser January 13, 2024


Parental tourette's

During a phonecall, or even a face to face conversation, a parent will randomly blurt out remonstrations to children in the background without warning or explanation.
It's easier to think of these as a disability affecting the group of people known as parents.
It afflicts men and women equally.

"...and I was telling Cindy that there was no way she would find a dress in that size but would she PUT YOUR BROTHER DOWN RIGHT NOW!! He's not a toy.
I'm so sorry about my parental tourette's there. Where was I? Right, so Cindy is a size 8 and..."

by Stogi March 9, 2021


Parentize

When you parentize somebody, you adopt them and raise them without them knowing that they are adopted.

I parentized my child without her knowing that her parents died and that she is adopted.

by Shootier and shootiest March 27, 2022


IPad Parents

Parents whom, instead of engaging with their child themselves, give the child an electronic device, usually an IPad, and let the IPad keep the child busy rather than them.

I had IPAD Parents growing up, I didn't even know their names until I was 9.

by Leonidas of Alexandria March 5, 2024


Plate-feather parent

Parent who is woefully inadequate and ill-prepared for the duty of parenting for viable efficacy, and who, instead, liberally engages in the reproductive process for the sole purpose of ensuring that their progeny are made available for predatory activities, after the manner of domesticated hens and roosters...and human populations, who have historically experienced the collapse of their own societies, and now belong to another social organization, to which they have been forcibly associated, with hostile purpose.

The plate-feather parent viewed the son's emerging talent with a barely supressed anger, and so, used parental persuastion to induce the son to engage in a number of activities with the hope that the son would be brought to mortal ruin.

by ancestaera February 5, 2020


parents suck

What every teenager thinks

TEENAGER: My parents suck

by BabbleBoy February 4, 2023


The Parental Mantra

What do you do if you child's a cunt?
Kick that brat out and light up a blunt.

I recite the parental mantra every morning.

by shittickler March 22, 2024