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jesus week

A length of time equaling 12 days.

It's a long trip. We'll be back in a jesus week. See you next month.

by ChuckChaser69 December 21, 2009

35๐Ÿ‘ 5๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus Rape

When a fundamental Christian attempts to push their religious beliefs on you even after you said "NO!"

The defination jesus rape explains itself.

by redneckatheist.com March 9, 2006

188๐Ÿ‘ 41๐Ÿ‘Ž


pet jesus

A pet about 40 cm's tall. It waddles around like a penguin and sucks in its checks. It cannot talk. You hold it on a leach and it occasionally tugs on your skirt but only because it wants attention. They look like a miniature versions of Jesus, hence the reason for the name.. They cannot blink but have huge eyes and very small pupils. Pet Jesus's wear a typical Jesus style garment and only eat crackers...lots and lots of crackers..... They do not drink anything.

A pet jesus makes an adorable pet yet they are commonly found at the pound as their owners get tired of them because they are a constant nuisance. They are also incredibly creepy, for example they do not sleep. When you go to bed it will stand right next to your bed and stare at you for the duration of the night and most people find this incredibly violating and terrifying...

John: Hey bob, i see you have brought along your pet jesus

Bob: Yup, got any crackers?

John: Sure Thaaaang!

by Petjesus November 10, 2010

25๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


drinking with jesus

The act of drinking in solitude without the connotation of being an alcoholic.

-I can't believe you pregamed alone last night, you're such a loser.
-Bro, I was drinking with Jesus.

by yeeserious October 20, 2005

52๐Ÿ‘ 9๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus Land

Any state that gave Bush the electoral vote. Usually directed at the south.

Jesus Land loves you!

by JohnJohn1186 November 10, 2004

81๐Ÿ‘ 16๐Ÿ‘Ž


jesus fetish

1. a simp for Jesus, very Catholic maybe too much. Probably very overbearing to talk to.

2. If you have such a fetish, why and please consider seeing a psychiatrist, you sick fuck.

Son: Father, I think I've developed a fetish for our only Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Father: It's great to hear that you have faith in God no-, Wait what?

Son: A Jesus fetish, Father!

Father: What the fuck is wrong with you? Get the fuck out of my house, you're not my son anymore I'm disowning you.

by Kazariiiiiiiiiiii-chan July 3, 2022


jesus goggles

If you say that someone is wearing Jesus goggles, you mean that that person has been so on fire for God that they think someone is more sexually attractive because they too have the same level of passion for Jesus instilled in their heart:

"How did you manage to get such a beautiful girlfriend when you look how you do?"
"Brah pls- Jesus is my wingman"

""Why is she dating him, he ain't fly"
"Ahh man homie, she must have her jesus goggles on tiggggghhhtttt"
"Ahmen to that"
"Mmmmhmmm"

by uj6tyjhvj March 27, 2015