Edward Smith

The captain that ran the Titanic into an iceberg on April 14, 1912.

"Watch what you're doing! You look like Edward Smith trying to drive this car!"

1👍 5👎

Edward Teach

trash; literal garbage.

"I sold Edward Teach," said Kevin very proudly. "He sucks."

2👍 4👎

edward glizzy hands

When you tape 40 hotdogs to you hands and you cant take the tape off until you finish the hotdogs.

i almost shit myself yesterday playing a game of edward glizzy hands

8👍 3👎

Edward winey hands

A drinking game involving two hands + two bottles of wine + duct tape (or similar).
When all combined, you reach a surefire recipe for a good night.
There exist several rules to edward winey hands.
1 - The wine bottles must be removed only when finished.
2 - The wine bottles must be removed by a stranger.
3 - Actually I think that's it...

"Ahhh, excuse me miss, could you please remove these wine bottles that are duct-taped to my hands. Yes, I am aware that my trousers are around my ankles, I have been playing Edward winey hands"

14👍 7👎

edward scissor hands

edward scissor hands is when a girl chafe's you on a hand job

In 7th grade this girl had the worst edward scissor hands

28👍 18👎

Edward-itis

N: A disease of the mind where the victim suffers feelings and emotions very similar to the ones Edward Cullen experiences while dating Bella Swan. Symptoms are: Being absolutely convinced you like the other person more than they could possibly like you, Being jealous of people you usually think of as beneath you, constantly being concerned over the safety of your lover, and having a desire to drive them everywhere in your shiny silver car.

Steve was wracked with emotions he had never felt before while dating Tiffany. He couldn't focus on anything else because he was so jealous of others around her and concerned that she could never fully return the enormous emotion he felt for her. He was suffering Edward-itis.

2👍 13👎

edward sausage hands

Ruins everything with his big ol hands banging around on everything breaking it all like edward scissor hands did but with his stumpy sausage fingers instead

You get a mixed up text from some guy with fat fingers and text him back "allright there, edward sausage hands!"