A class that's really not as hard as it seems, that is, after you've been raped by the villain and left impregnated. A child shall be born unto you and its name shall be success. After that, it's all about reading and listening. You could, however, get an abortion (i.e. fail) but this is just as mentally, physically, and emotionally scarring as pushing through to give your baby a good life, a better life, so just keep that baby. You'll cry at night, cry in the morning, and cry tears of joy when that baby is a fully grown 5 on the exam.
Ask questions about shit that ISN'T ALREADY EXPLAINED IN THE BOOK (that includes YOU Fucknuts) and study all the time!
Rookie: "I'm in AP US History. It's SOOOO Hard! Can you help me study?"
Veteran: "Fuck no."
60๐ 6๐
a fuck-all hard class. taken by sophmores, usually ap virgins, who are about to get metaphorically ass-raped to stretch their asshole to the size of goatse. generally possible to BS with a lot of patience, the ap exam can be passed without learning much in the entire class. what little you did learn, you will forget over the summer. god forbid kagan wrote your ap euro book.
"Hehe, someone crossed out 'a hero' and wrote 'an hero' in my ap eurpean history book. I spent so much time laughing I couldn't concentrate on the rest of the chapter. fuck."
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"Because of ap european history, I know that 'defenestration' means 'getting thrown out of the window.'"
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"Why does the ap european history teacher use 'we' when talking about herself?"
234๐ 35๐
Canada's History is one of the world's most extraordinarily controversial sex acts, and is infamous for being notoriously difficult to perform. It gained popularity in 1987 when PETA launched a campaign against the act because of its mercilessly cruel treatment of animals (the iconic "Ban Canada's History" campaign).
Only two men and one woman can perform Canada's History, and both men must be physically flexible to complete the final stage. To perform a Canada's History, one must obtain authentic moose antlers, a replica of the Stanley Cup, maple syrup, a beavertail, a live Canadian loon, kerosene, a lighter, a length of rope and a Nickelback album. If you use a Celine Dion album from the mid-nineties the act is referred to as a Canada's Antiquity. If you use a Strapping Young Lad album, Canada's Histrionics.
He's crazy you know -- I heard he once did a Canada's History with that chick who works at the 7-11.
2๐ 8๐
a sexual act so distasteful that truck stop hookers will charge double and 2 packs of cigarettes to get the gerbil back out and unplug the jumper cables.
Trixie gave me Canada's History and it costs me 60 bucks and a carton of Marlboros.
2๐ 8๐
When a man takes his hand and sticks it up a moose's asshole all the way to the elbow while his Courtney (see definition of Courtney) licks the Moose's testicles and fingers the guys ass. Then the man takes a handful of moose shit and smears it on the Courtney's face and sticks his penis in the moose until he blows he is close to cumming then blows his load over the Courtney then they both suck the moose off until the animal blows its load all over the Courtney.
I was reading about Canada's History in the Beaver today and am not sure where I could find a Courtney willing to get a moose testicle in the mouth.
2๐ 8๐
the sexual act of having a group of men with explosive diarrhea defecate into an unconscious woman's vagina. After all the men present have made bowel movements, the woman is hung upside down by her feet. The men then take turns guzzling maple syrup and then inducing vomit onto the woman's vagina. The woman, still hung by her feet, is spun around in circles so the rope, cable or chain used to bind her, when let go, causes her to spin wildly out of control. As this happens, the men masturbate. The last man to ejaculate is punched in the face until the suspended woman stops spinning and comes to a complete and total rest. That man is then adorned with moose antlers and must sit on a replica of the stanley cup whittled from the largest log of a beaver dam. The replica also must be filled with poutine (a canadian cuisine consisting of french fries, cottage cheese and gravy). He must remain on this replica until the suspended woman has awakened and consumed all of the aforementioned contents of her vagina with a red and white candy-striped crazy straw.
Stephen Colbert had to suspend his show for a week because he stayed home sick from participating in Canada's History.
2๐ 8๐
Canada's history is terriable, and filled with many unspeakable events. It was first brought around by French fur traders, and has been going in for a few hundred years. Many times the Stanley Cup has been in this horriable move.
It is where one takes a jar of maple syrup (has kept Canada's History stable in export for others to use) and lather it on the male penis. Use the stickiness to slide it through a hole in the Stanley cup that runs all the way through, and let the semen enter a hollowed out moose antler a female has up her utereus.
Many have seen Canada's History as evidence that these seemingly polite people are truly evil and ice-holes.
"Did you hear Kevin and Miranda were so upset at the so few golds Canada has earned, -eh?"
"Yeah, -eh. They preformed Canada's History to relieve the despair."
"No! I thought they were respectable people."
2๐ 8๐