My cat took a crap and the dog ate it...he sure is a turd burglar
1344๐ 734๐
A person who scavenges truck stop restrooms for left over dumps in hopes of finding lost treasure. examples: peanuts, corn, gum, hairballs, drug filled condoms
Matt was disappointed when his turd hustling expedition at the neighborhood Stuckys left him empty handed.
15๐ 4๐
when you unload a turd from your asshole and the turd is so perfect that it comes out of your cheeks so elegantly that you do not have to wipe. it is so simple yet elegant.
oh my god i was at KFC and i totally just released a miracle turd
15๐ 4๐
turd for brains one who is an idiot or is extremely stupid a non vulgar less offensive way to call someone a shit for brains when calling someone a shit for brains want do or is not appropriate
my neighbor turned his dogs loose to shit in my yard and he refuses to clean it up what a turd for brains
7๐ 1๐
A person who carriers a human shit through customs in his or her suitcase.
The shit is produced at the end of the victims 18-30 holiday as he or she prepares to fly home. The turd is placed into another tourist's packed suitcase (in a plastic bag or dropped directly) without their prior knowledge. The suitcase is then be zipped back up and nothing more will be said by the perpetrator until the unsuspecting victim has reclaimed their luggage and left for the airport.
"That bitch has fucked me up on this holiday - she's going to be my turd courier."
7๐ 1๐
A standard of unimaginable richness, originally used to complement a host's cooking at polite dinner parties. Latterly - and frankly much more amusingly - used to indicate extreme hypocrisy in the actions of public figures.
"Mrs Bennet, I do declare, your devilled kidneys really are as rich as a butcher's turd" - Jane Austen, 'Pride and Prejudice'. "Straight from invading Iraq and Afganistan, Tony Blair has laid a fresh butcher's turd by accepting the role of Middle East Peace Envoy" - Jon Snow, Channel 4 News.
7๐ 1๐
Texting on your cell while taking a dump.
David is the ultimate multi-tasker as he is an expert at turd texting.
Mother: "What's going on in there? Other peeps need to use the bathroom!"
David: "Dude, give me some privacy! I'm turd texting!"
7๐ 1๐