Random
Source Code

can my cat watch?

"Can my cat watch?" is what not to say when you're on a first date and getting some action.

They had just made it to the bedroom, and Helena was taking her top off when Bryce asked, "Can my cat watch?"

Bryce slept alone with his cat that night.

by scodder June 27, 2010

11👍 3👎


Their Eyes Were Watching God

Possibly one of the worst books ever written. Commonly applied as literative torture to High School freshmen.

"Why the hell are we reading this damn book?"

by PapaFrita March 13, 2005

94👍 50👎


Time for you to get a watch

One of the greatest comebacks of all time if used right. Answer most questions with this and you will bamboozle the asker.

Jarek: Hey how cold is it outside?
Ryan: Time for you to get a watch
Jarek: *dies

by Why Don’t I Have a GF ig March 9, 2018

13👍 4👎


Favre Watch pt. II

A continuation of Favre Watch, a series of the ongoing, episodic, soap opera like exploits of Brett Favre chronicling his second comeback from retirement and signing with the Minnesota Vikings.

FIRST EPISODE: On the morning of August 18th , 2009, WCCO-TV, a CBS affiliate in Minneapolis, Minnesota reported that Favre would sign with the Minnesota Vikings later in the day. ESPN.com later reported the same news, as Favre would sign a contract with the Vikings pending a physical.

SECOND EPISODE: Favre officially signed with the Minnesota Vikings on August 18, 2009. He was signed to a two-year, $25 million deal. The contract stipulates that Favre is slated to make $12 million in 2009 and $13 million in 2010. The contract does not contain performance bonuses/incentives, like most other NFL contracts, and $6 million is guaranteed for skill and injury. This means that if Favre does badly over the next few weeks the Vikings can’t get out for less than six million. The contract also states that the 2009 salary payments are deferred, $4 million over the season, $4 million in March and $4 million in 2011.

THIRD EPISODE: In an August 19th news conference, Favre tells of the events that made him decide to sign with the Vikings. Among the reasons stated were that a call from Brad Childress came just as he was working out his throwing arm. Favre stated that his arm wasn’t 100% but it was good. Part of Favre’s decision was based encouragement from family and friends.

Favre Watch pt. II

Guy 1: You hear? Brett Favre just signed with the Vikings.
Guy 2: See, I told you he’d add a new chapter to the Favre Watch!
Guy 1: So, what’s that mean for the Vikings?
Guy 2: Well, love him or hate him, you can’t deny that he’ll add some stability to the QB situation in Minnesota. Something they haven’t had since Daunte Culpepper. Unfortunately one of their other three QB’s will be cut. Probably most likely it will be John David Booty.
Guy 1: Yeah that’s real sad… but what are their chances? How do you think they’ll do?
Guy 2: Well, they went 10-6 without a QB relying on Adrian Peterson. So they’ll probably go 13-3, win their division and make a deep run into the playoffs.
Guy 1: Really?! Hmm….
*Guy 1 Checks watch*
Guy 2: What are you doing?
Guy 1: Uhhh, how long is the betting parl….uhh….I mean bank open?
Guy 2: Beats me.
Guy 1: Well going to the err... bank. Yep, that’s it; I’m going to the post office
Guy 2: What I thought you said you were going to the bank?.
*Guy 1 leaves and bets $50,000 of Guy 2’s money on the Vikings winning Super Bowl XLIV*

by Baron6489 March 12, 2011


I'd watch her porno

One phrase that says you're interested enough to see someone naked, while not necessarily wanting to get to know them. One is particularly interested in the way the other performs in the bedroom, and would rather watch them do such than actually trying to get them there themself.

fellow 1: "Do you see that girl over there? She's fucking banging"
fellow 2: "Yeah I'd watch her porno."

by websteurgeon January 12, 2010

6👍 1👎


watching the back of my eyelids

the act of sleeping

i was watching the back of my eyelids last night

by mmagoo13 February 9, 2011

21👍 9👎


watch me do me

a reply to anything. Often used as a retort.

Teresa: yo michelle lets go play some touch football
Michelle: naaww watch me do me.

by McLovin and TBAG November 5, 2008

30👍 15👎