Mr Wipes

Mr wipes is the guy that goes around the elderly home and well wipes the elderly. It may not be a very classy job but Mr Wipes finds this very satisfying.

Here comes Mr Wipes to the elderly home to do his job.

three wipe rule

Personal code of conduct that stipulates one must take a shower if more than three wet wipes are necessary.

Sorry I'm late I had a three wipe rule violation right before I left the house.

nine wipes

where you have your cat in the bathroom while you take a dook.

I tried to get the cat out of the bathroom because i needed to take a duece but the little fucker bit me, so i was forced to take a nine wipes with him.

the wipe

Continuously wiping your anal cavity after dropping a particularly juicy load of fecal matter. Usually after passing flatulence, you feel a wet sensation, and once you wipe once more, it's like you never wiped in the first place. Also known as "swamp ass."

"My ass hole is leaking, I must have the wipe!"

Wipe to Confirm

The act of wiping your butt a last time to confirm that your hole is clean and completely rid of crap. Used to reaffirm the suspicion that you've finished wiping when your previous fold of toilet paper is stainless.

Derived from the phrase, "Swipe to Confirm"

John: Man, my ass is itchy...
Dale: You sure you wiped properly, bro?
John: Nah I was in a rush man, didn't have time to check
Dale: Dayum! That's nasty! I always check properly before I leave... Wipe to Confirm, Wipe to Confirm, man

Mississippi Mud Wipe

When your ass is raw from the single ply toilet paper and you aren’t near a sink or any wet wipes so you ball up the toilet paper and you spit on it and wipe your raw ass to completion.

Man, I only have a few pieces left of this toilet paper so I had to give it the ol Mississippi Mud Wipe.

Rim Wipe

Licking your significant other clean after they use the bathroom

He must really love lisa with all those 'rim wipes' they must save money on toilet paper.