Rural Dictionary

Mud muffin

"My neighbor never picks up after his dog. Every morning on the way to get the paper I step in a fresh batch of mud muffins."

by R. Bowers October 7, 2012

Penis Muffin

n. When one's penis is so small, that it looks like a muffin.

Leo Yu got kicked in the balls, so his dick never grew; it's a penis muffin.

by Ivana Dick February 4, 2008

32👍 14👎

Glucose-Sucrose Combinate Vaginal Coating (GSCVC), or "honey muffin'", as it is more commonly known, is the ritualistic smothering of the vagina (or "muff") in honey or a similar sugary substance (thereby creating a "honey muff"), in order to attract flies. This is where the saying "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar" comes from, since vaginas smell like vinegar without the honey. This practice dates back to the time when humans were plants, and reproduced via the woman being "pollinated" by sperm that was painstakingly placed on flies by the male of the species.

Tronfo: ... So the missus has been reading these "new age" sexual intercourse technique books.

Ragtish: Aren't they outlawed by NIRC?

*Ragtish adjusts his spectacles*

Tronfo: Yeah...

But...

*Distant laser-gun fire echoes*

*Tronfo gasps, but then quickly settles again*

Tronfo: There's this one thing she did. "Honey muffin'", it's called. You smear honey all over her hoo-ha, and it attracts flies, which act sort of like a free Vibratron 4000, or 5000, even, maybe. The honey also smells pretty good, and it slightly distracts you from the stench of all the dead bodies.

Ragtish: What you've described sounds like a sexualised perversion of the age-old practice of Glucose-Sucrose Combinate Vaginal Coating - GSCVC for short. But speaking of dead bodies, the killinators got Charlton yesterday. He was out scrounging for strawberry jam and didn't hear them coming up behind him over the sound of his jam detector.

Tronfo: Poor guy.