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The act of sending yourself an email.
Can I use your computer to email masturbate? I need to remind myself of something for tomorrow.
When you throw all your responsibilities out the window and just masturbate.
Damon didn't finish his project until the last minute because he was too busy with masturbation procrastination.
Making negative comment about oneself expecting a positive and opposite rmark from another
Nicholas: I'm fat
Bob: Yes you are, I'm not falling for that Emotional Masturbation
Nicholas: *Cries olive oil tears*
The act of imagining unreal or false things and taking them as true, and / or deliberately interpreting a fact, or acting in a wrong way, to evade a reality, boost your ego or twist a situation to your convenience.
"That girl think I like her because i invited her to my party, that's pure mental masturbation"
The practice in which professors and teachers find new ways to talk about hypothetical and unpractical solutions to nonexistent problems or scenarios. Simultaneous waste of taxpayer money may or may not be present depending on the type of institution.
This new class is a huge waste of time; the professor loves academic masturbation, but hasn't actually taught us anything useful.
After the occurrence of a massive dry spell, one must partake in the holy masturbation which is the act of sitting in a confessional using holy water as lube as the priest blesses your act of satisfaction
Im sorry father for I have sinned I haven’t gotten laid in 4 years. I must partake in holy masturbation.
When you jerk off too much and your weak ass arm cannot handle the g-forces and either becomes numb or just fucking falls off your body.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!