"Penguins Run the Office" is a term coming from a song seen in OK Play, a mobile application for children. The scene within which this term originates from features the player's character moving around the office that is run by penguins.
(Singer): "We run the office, penguins run the office"
(Normal person): "Please shut up"
A sex act where you take off your clothes and then sit in bed checking your phone for an hour and a half, and then eventually some other dude walks in and does the job for you.
Man, I couldn't be bothered having sex last night, so I did the Texas police officer
this is the guy that only makes the call, the play, the decision when the answer is so near, so close, so obvious ... you can practically see the answer, writings on the wall.
Jackson: Really, are you sure you want to go with it now that even the mail boy can make the decision, you're such the office pitching wedge.
Murphy : Right on brother, right on.
How was your night ? it was long he let me pack his office
Similar in concept to the Speedball drug cocktail, except using only legal drugs, in this case the depressant qualities of alcohol and stimulant effects of caffeine in place of heroin and cocaine.
This covers everything from Irish Coffee to neat vodka with a 5 hour energy chaser, anything that will leave you with all the energy of a sober person and none of the decision making capacity.
Friend: How are you able to keep working on that paper? You're wasted!
Me: Office-drone Speedball baby, try it some time!
Used when a persons job title is bullshit. For example in certain corporations everyone seem to be directors of something, in other words they are Directors of Nothing or Chief Chief Officers.
“Hello, I am the Director of Direct Marketing.”
“Hello, Yes I am also a Director of Direct Marketing but for Sustainable Solutions.”
Temps watching from afar: “God they are such Chief Chief Officers.”
When a man stands up from his desk, drops his pants and shits on the floor while making direct eye contact with someone in the room.
Ray replaced his chair with an Ellenville office stool.