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When you have to take a shit after you wake up in the morning. Similar to morning wood, morning shit occurs when you have your first bowel movement of the day right when you wake up. It may be caused by smoking pot before you go to sleep the night prior to your morning shit. Masturbation in the morning can also cause morning shit.
"Man, that was good weed last night. I had to take a morning shit today."
12👍 28👎
The primary reason for showering toilet seats and bathroom floors just after waking up from a nightmare about exploding in a sewage treatment plant and never being able to have sex again. Three times in twenty years of marriage wasn't enough.
Marsha; I'm so sick of cleaning the bathroom after you, damn it!
John; It's not my fault I keep telling you, it's the morning wood!
Marsha; Right, dead eye! I'd give you a mop but you'll probably wipe the den. I wish you morning wouldn't!
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When you spend all night buying pay-per-view pornos and rub the pope all night long. You eventually pass out and in the morning when you wake up your sheets are all crusty from your spooge.
Guy 1: Hey man what's going on?
Guy 2: Oh, you know, putting clean sheets on, dusting the mattress.
Guy 1: That's bullshit you spent all night jerkin it and now you have Morning Crust.
5👍 7👎
The art of sending a relatively coherent txt first thing in the morning while your waking finger dexterity has not fully surfaced. Thus, leading to a few spelling mistakes and you blaming your 'morning fingers' not the night before.
Warning:
When under the influence of various substances, your 'morning fingers' instantly reappear and could get you into trouble.
Ryan:
Man dude, my girlfriend thought I was still drunk this morning 'coz of the txt I sent her before work. Almost got me into trouble...but I just told her my 'morning fingers' were to blame and now she understands.
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The act of masterbating until ejaculation upon the face of an unsuspecting female while she is sleeping. Can be performed during any hour of the day.
Kim blue balled me the other night, so I gave her a Morning Glory she will never forget.
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when your jizz looks like a cumsicle
yesterday i whacked off in the snow and got a 2 foot long morning drizzle
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"i saw a star benith the stairs going through the melting walls.."
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