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Why some black people talk so loud.
The invisible black friend that is standing at least 20-30 feet away from another black person, justifying the fact that they seem to be practically screaming while talking to a visible person in arms reach.
Man I could hardly hear you at the bar, it was the invisible nigger theory in full effect
When you're at the market and two black girls are in line next to you talking so loud that you want to cover your ears, they're just trying to make sure that their invisible friend can hear them.
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The theory that if you take any video footage, even involving great tragedy, speed it up and play Yakiddy Sax in the background, it will be funny.
When they showed steve irwin's funeral re mixed using the Benny Hill theory, i busted a gut laughing.
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Power Struggle Theory is the idea that a weakling is going to be most sensitive to a power struggle. This is akin to when a small dog barks wildly. This theory describes the behavior of young women who hunt for attention and enjoy keeping men at their fingertips. The vast majority of young women on sites such as Tinder and Facebook love to be in control of interactions with men and get off on the feeling of power they hold over them. Relinquishing such power is not in the interests of such a weakling, as then men would gain the upper hand in all areas. Such women usually have multiple “safe” beta males orbiting them. The woman gets a different type of stimulation and pleasure from each of the orbiters; also known as juggle play. A confident man does not need to engage in power struggles because he feels good about himself on his own. Most attractive young women realize the gig is up once the power struggle ends. They like to extend the struggle as long as possible to maintain their power and because of their fear a man will realize she brings less character to the table than he thought.
Guy 1: Why does she reply to only 30% of my messages? I thought women loved to get attention.
Guy 2: Not necessarily. Why do you think many women interpret your interest in them as weakness?
Guy: I don’t know. They don’t like muff munchers?
Guy 2: Power Struggle Theory in practice.
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"The theory that everyone thinks and/or accepted that God looks like Morgan Freeman".
Used on the Colbert Report (reference to the movie Bruce Almighty)
I have recently fallen victim to The Morgan Freeman Theory
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The theory that if a bagel is cut horizontally, each half can be considered one bagel, allowing an infinite number of bagels to be formed from one bagel. This is to say, as long as a section of an object is identified as a whole, the entirety of its children on the same plane can also be considered whole, creating a paradox where an original object can be responsible for the creation of an infinite number of itself.
Craig: "I bought this bagel from a New York bakery and they consider half a bagel a whole bagel?"
Graham: "Yeah it supports the Infinite Bagel Theory. As long as the horizontal slice is considered whole, an endless number of bagels can be formed."
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Rahul is extremely knowledgeable about love and getting people together. The downside of this immense power is that he himself struggles to find love.
"Did you learn about Rahul's Theory of Love in psych today?"
The Secular Horseshoe Theory is a theory that states that anti-theists (including new atheists, militant atheists, atheist extremists and atheist zealots) and religious fundamentalists are the same, and that share similar characteristics and similar behavior.
The Secular Horseshoe Theory can be proved by seeing how anti-theists and religious fundamentalists behave between themselves.
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