jesus horses

According to Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update team (Jimmy Fallon and Tiny Fay), "jesus horses" are defined in the following excerpt: "A Supreme Court in Geaorgia ruled that high school biology teachers were permitted to continue using the term 'evolution' when teaching their classes. However as a compromise, they must now refer to dinosaurs as 'jesus horses'."

My son Timmy loves to learn about jesus horses. His favorite jesus horse is the T-Rex.

129👍 31👎

Wet Jesus

When a woman drags her hand across her wet vagina, and smacks you in the face with it.

Damn dude, I tried putting it in her ass. that bitch turned around and gave me a Wet Jesus.

36👍 6👎

Jesus Beaver

Obnoxiously innocent, highly religious and curious girls who flirt incessantly, but don't ever, ever put out.

Ever.

Joe: "Hey John did you see Courtney over there kissing Kelly?"
John: "Yea man, they're horny as shit, and thats why I'm here!"

Joe: "Good luck man, thats some Jesus Beaver right there. You don't have a chance."

39👍 7👎

Sweet Jesus

The "Holy Shit!" reaction you get when you scare the crap out of someone (or your pet cat).

Sweet Jesus! Where in the hell did that come from!

147👍 37👎

Oh Jesus

Sykkuno’s favorite word to say!

“Oh jesus Rae”

22👍 3👎

Fat Jesus

Used to describe any overweight man with mid-length brown hair and a beard, giving the impression of what Jesus would be like if McDonalds and DVDs existed in 4th century Judea.

Popularised by the movie 'The Hangover'

1. Quote from The Hangover: "Let's go handsome, come on. Not you, Fat Jesus!"

2. Eric: "Hey, look at that rotund beardy guy over there"

Ralph: "Yeh, he's a total Fat Jesus"

3. Jack Black is sometimes a Fat Jesus

62👍 13👎

Jesus Horse

A dinosaur. The term is used sarcastically to mock young earth creationists and their ludicrous assertion that dinosaurs coexisted with humans.

"Oh yeah? Well how do you explain the dinosaurs? What were they Jesus horses?"

183👍 47👎