Text Paralysis

The inability to carry out simple motor functions such as walking, talking, or driving, while sending, composing, or recieving a text message.

A driver stops at a stop light, pulls out her phone, and commenses sending a text message. When the light turns green, she is honked at, because she suffers from Text Paralysis, and is unable to obey the rules of the road while texting.

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drunken texting

This occurs when you attempt to text message someone from a payphone while under the influence of top much alcohol.

I was totally drunken texting you last night dude! It was hilarious...

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text massege

A text message that is sent to multibulls, lots of people, a bunch of folks you know, everyone at a party, etc. Gets the job done with minimal fuckin' around on the phone.

Hawk: "Yo, get your fuckin' shit together and booze"
Slayerson: "Alright, what's the deal man? Getting some bulls around?"
Hawk: "Hold up, I'ma send out a text massege"
Slayerson: "Best get some pussy over here too..."
Hawk: "Obviously"

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Text-talker

Anyone who uses text acronyms in real life when talking to another person.

Jake: Did you hear about the new horror movie coming out next week?

Darryl: OMG, I wanna see that movie so bad!

Jake: wow, you're such a text-talker.

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Pirate texting

When someone gets very very drunk and decides it's a good idea to text someone they really shouldnt...except the only way to not see 2 screens of their mobile is to close one eye - like a pirate! Haha!

'OMG i was so drunk last night i ended up pirate texting Bill'

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Text Battle

The act of 2 people engaging in a conversation via text messaging with both parties goals being to text something so gross and disturbing that the other party is unable to respond. A text battle is spontaneous and starts with no warning. An ancillary goal is to give the enemy nightmares. A text battle is usually started with a single word text, or a short phrase, replied to with a similar, more gross phrase.

A text battles disturbing nature may result in an individual or group being monitored by a government agency, like the CIA or NSA.

How a text battle looks:

Person 1: "Fermunda Cheese"
Person 2: "Gleet Burger"
Person 1: "Yeast infection marinade"
Person 2: "Gangrene foot puree"
Person 1: "Mung milkshake"
Person 2: "That's gross man, leave me alone"

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Text of the Devil

The text message version of "speak of the devil"

-A text from a person one was just thinking of, or just going to text.

Alice: (text) "Hey Bob what's up!"

Bob: (text) "Text of the Devil! I was just thinking about you!"

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