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Random
When you friend or girlfriend is sleeping on their back and you casually walk up to them and fan or "batwing" your sack bag over their eye just nice making them look like a pirate with a scrotum eye patch.
As my roommate wobbled out of his room, he exclaimed "I must have got a One Eyed Winston last night, and my eye smells like scrote-sack.
A person who tries to slyly give their sweaty bum a quick wipe in public, who is then caught.
“Graham caught his colleague having a sweaty one wiper in the toilet”
A person who tries to give their sweaty bum a quick wipe in public, who is caught by another person.
“Graham walked into the toilet and caught his colleague having a sweaty one wiper”
Using one hand to scroll through pornography on Tumblr while using the other hand to manually stimulate the genitals.
The One-Handed Tumble is my favorite way to unwind before bedtime.
When a gentleman shoots semen into one eye of a girl and covers it like a eye patch, then proceeds to kick her on the knee so she hops on one leg and says 'AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH'
Last night i gave my girlfriend 'The one legged pirate' and now I'm single.
One of the Perks was the best-tasting and most affordable instant coffees available in North America before being discontinued. It’s disappearance has to led to many people discontinuing their life.
Kroger executive: “Wow this instant coffee tastes like real coffee, let’s get rid of it and sell powdered diarrhea instead.”
One of the Perks drinker: “This is the timeline humanity got wrong.”
When a bottom goes on all four sucking the dick of the top while the top finger's the button's sphincter
Julian wanted to do the two pleasure with one pleasure cause he wanted to explore other areas