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Great Beer, Cheap smokes and the best damn Dope around!
Bob: We have some good beer, eh?
Doug: It's great to be Canadian!
61👍 86👎
A resident of Canada. A player of hockey, the keeper of the great beaver and closely guarded by the mountie, the Canadian is humble, quietly proud and refrains from forcing his/her values on the world with embarrassingly patriotic displays and is opposed to the use of force for personal gain. The Canadian is always courteous, polite and ready to lend a hand. They are a hardy people who endure extreme changes of season with ease. They are a healthy, rugged, outdoors-friendly bunch who prefer sitting around a campfire listening to Neil Young than attending a Hollywood party. Canadians are known to consume back-bacon as a primary source of energy, often with a quality Canadian beer. Aside from the lumber jacket, Canadians may be hard to identify as they are not bold or stand out in a crowd and must be talked to in order to identify them (éh).
A hockey champion.
I was north of the border when my car broke down and had it not been for the that Canadian I would have froze to death in the frozen Tundra.... I would be proud to be Canadian!!!
60👍 87👎
People who live in Canada who DON'T live in igloos and ONLY snows in the winter NEVER the summer spring or fall. No they do NOT eat whale blubber and go to school on dogsleds. There is NO SUCH THING as a Canadian accent. They do NOT say '' Eh '' after every sentence and do NOT say aboot instead of about.
''Nice weather, eh?''
''What are you, Canadians?''
61👍 84👎
Their wives are always right and they have fancy bacon.
24👍 35👎
The one ethnic group that American's can name when making fun of people for their ethnicity.
Did you see what he was wearing? OMG.. that's so "Canadian".
49👍 67👎
Most people who exist in "Canada" are not actually Canadian. They are either first or second generation emigrants from backward countries like India, China, or France. Also, this portion of Canadians also includes the Canadian Nouveau Riche, a boom created by the growth of the Canadian dollar due to suspect government policy. In either case, they share many of the same characteristics.
1. A complete blindness to the existence of any human existence, need, emotion, or being outside of their own.
2. A massive desire to litter foreign countries.
3. A desire to smoke all the worlds pot.
4. They are drunk. Always. Even Tim Hortons coffee makes them drunk beyond the legal driving limit.
5. A fascination with all apparel made of denim.
6. Inability to procreate.
7. They think "Ed Hardy" apparel is actually fashionable.
8. Inability to operate a motor vehicle in way that is predictable to drivers around them.
9. Pathological desire to cheat their government out of the taxes due to them when the shop outside of their own country. This desire is so strong they will even attempt to enlist the help of residents of another country in their crime, in spite of the peril this may put that person in.
10. The men dress like women.
11. The women dress like they're from New Jersey (a highly uncouth part of the United State of America)
12. The children do not have parents; instead they have government assigned adoptive "buddies"
Example 1 -
Citizen 1: Hey...do you think they're Canadian?
Citizen 2: Umm...they're dressed in Ed Hardy, they just tossed all their trash out the window of the car, and they ran over a nun because they missed their turn to get back home. Yeah...pretty sure they're Canadian.
Example 2 -
Citizen 1: I met a Canadian the other day.
Citizen 2: Yeah? Was he nice?
Citizen 1: Yes. But...he wore tight slacks, and his white belt matched his white shoes. Then, he invited me to "have a smoke" and fly to the Jamaica with him. Seemed nice until he tried to touch my junk...
Citizen 2: Yeah...they're always nice until they try to fuck you.
80👍 124👎
A not-so-common sex move involving oral sex, a woman, a man, and a staircase. The Canadian is performed by the woman performing oral sex on the man at the top of the stairs. When he is ready to climax, he pushes the woman down the stairs, and aims up, ejaculating on the woman, who is by now sprawled at the base of the stairs.
Lindsay Lohan: Do you want The Canadian?
Ricky Gervais: What's that?
Lindsay Lohan: You'll see, let me get my helmet.
47👍 71👎