Random
Source Code
Random
When you claim to be so drunk you don't forget embarrassing and borderline illegal events from the night before despite hardly drinking atall and clearly being sober. For example, trying to rape a girl only to be punched in the face and left bleeding.
Lots of love, carlos and clark xo
" Ey?! I did not try to force this girl into sex?! I don't remember that? I don't remember her battering me?! I was wrecked !! I had 4 cans FFS ! "
" Mate, I rate he's trying to pull a Ben Turner here "
40👍 4👎
The coolest kid on the planet. Often seen hanging around with different discolored animals. Also mysteriously stays in the 5th grade since 2001 along with his friends.
Andy: Dude that kid is totally Timmy Turner!
Steven: Check out those awesome pink and green goldfish!
Andy: Timmy Turner is definitely the coolest kid on the planet.
205👍 35👎
An eBook that is exciting to read and hard to put down.
I need ice for my finger. I was e-reading a Stephen King book last night --- it was so good,I couldn't put it down. It's a real Finger Turner
ALEXANDER DAVID TURNER IS LIKE THE SEXIEST MOTHERFUCKER OF ALL THE SEXY MOTHERFUCKERS TO ROME THIS PLANET. He’s so photogenic and awkward and doesn’t know what’s going on around him. He’s really bipolar with his fashion and can’t make his mind up with what hairstyle he wants. Some people will say that he doesn’t know how to sing but bruh he obviously does if he’s come this far with his music 🙄🤚🏻. Or maybe it’s just his SEXY MOTHERFUCKIN SELF THATS ATTRACTED ALL THE GIRLS.
Omg! he’s such an Alex Turner to me 😫
IS THAT ALEX TURNER!! I’m gonna faint
A "Taint Turner" is the official term for a double rim job in which two people lick each other's butt holes AT THE SAME TIME. It's kind of like "69" except one person must arch their back in order for the deed to be achieved. It is not for the faint of heart or Mormons.
Remember that one time when we did the "Taint Turner" after eating Indian food.
A faster talker and swindler of empty promises, tall tales entice his victims while imagery of stock piled gold deposits, crude silver, and coinage hordes are used as a human mouse trap and the receiver is a human burned victim
I thought I was being a good person and before I knew it the Nate Turner was already in full swing and I was out $400.
The act of dislodging one's eyeball from its socket with only a finger.
Ex: My baby with his crazy ass hands tries to Captain Turner me all the time.
If you don't quit looking at me, I'm going to Captain Turner your ass.
This movie is so horrible, I'm about to Captain Turner myself.
That girl is so ugly, it makes me want to Captain Turner my ass.
In the third season of Deadwood, Danny (Al Swearingen's bodyguard) and Captain Turner (George Hearst's bodyguard) have a showdown in the thoroughfare which results in Captain Turner getting his eyeball removed by Danny's index finger. It's pretty fucking nasty.