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Doodie Claus is a large, poorly groomed Hungarian man that lives in the sewers of Boston. Every year on February 12th, he journeys to the surface to give children the gifts of doodie and happiness.
Gosh, that sure was kind of you to put those orphans out of their misery Ken, you are a regular Doodie Claus.
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Santa Claus is a creepy stalker who tries to make up for it by giving you gifts. He "sees you when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake, knows if you've been good or bad". See? Stalker. Not only that, but he knows where you live, your name, who you have a crush on, and everything else about you. Also rather stalkerish. Plus, he's a fatty. He must be what, 500 pounds? How does he fit through the chimney? And if you don't HAVE a chimney? He's also a greedy thief, as he steals your milk and cookies if you leave them. D: Another thing would be his signature laugh, "Ho ho ho!", which is hardly nice if you get what I'm saying. D: The bottom line: Santa Claus is a greedy thief, creepy, and a stalker.
This freaky boy is stalking me! He's such a Santa Claus!
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Santa Claus but Thomas Sanders
Janus: "Wow, Santa really hated you this year huh?"
Roman buried in presents: "You mean Sanders Claus????"
Most Known as *Hitler from Christmas* Santa Claus is a big fat dick elder, that sometimes acts kinda pedophile by eating his elf´s ass and pussy.
ELF - Heyooooo!!!! IT IS SANTA CLAUS EAT MY ASS SWOOOOWOOOO OUUWEEEEE.^
Santa - NEIN, GEHT AUF DIR BITCH!!!
A person that likes to commit crimes like breaking and entering. Also has diabetes from how many fucking cookies he eats.
Santa Claus is not real people.
A shit excuse for your parents to eat cookies and drink wine, also it's just your dad smooching your mother not an overweight fat old man cheating on his wife.
Child: is santa claus coming?
Dad and Mum: Oh yeah ;)
The morbidly obese man that breaks into houses every year on December 24th and eats all of the food in your house. If you ever see him in your house, run. Santa Claus will give out presents to kids that he finds attractive and the ugly ones get coal. The presents usually have trackers in them as he handmade them with his children slaves that he kidnapped, also known as “elves”
Sometimes you may find some very small elves in your house. Dispose of them immediately because they have cameras in them. Santa isn’t your friend. He’s a child predator.
*kid wakes up*
oh my goodness it’s santa claus and he is in my room
santa claus: ho ho ho get in my fabric sack
kid: *climbs into fabric sack*
santa claus: hahaha now you are my elf
kid: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*the kid was forced to make toys until the end of time*