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Random
Doing some dumb or fucked up shit that could be done By a person from and/or living in the State of Florida
Cletus: “Gawdamn man I was huntin’ For some gator and shot marge in the arm”
Bo: “Aw shit cuz that’s Pulling a Floridian right there”
Local Florida resident hooked on crack hides in the trees shooting blow darts laced with fentanyl trying to take out all of his/her local enemies
Wow did you hear that Rodger got hit with The Floridian Fent Dart? I guess we have to lock our doors tonight.
An intellectual collective founded in 1997 that is dedicated to lateral thinking and bad taste. It is often unclear if it is a religion disguised as a joke, or a joke disguised as a religion -- much in the same vein as The Church of the Subgenius or Discordianism. They maintain an expansive website at www.branchfloridians.org and regularly put out e-zines called "The World Domination Update." The group's self-professed objective is "think for yourself!"
At first glance, the Branch Floridians appear to be an ultra-fundamentalist cult, but anyone paying attention should quickly realize this is a sarcastic fascade. Admittedly, though, it is often difficult to tell when they are being serious, and when they are joking. Such pranksterism is deliberately designed to provoke people into *thinking*.
The group has no relation to MSN member and crusader Michelson-Morley or any of his alter-ego/pseudonics. There is a member of the Branch Floridians named Reverend FairInHeight 451, and Fairinheight451 is also a name used by Michelson-Morley. This is a coincidence, though it understandably has caused some confusion among people who dislike MM for his activities in policing several rogue communities that break the MSN Code of Conduct. Michelson-Morley is *not* a member of the Branch Floridians, though respects their ideas.
When she pulls a knife in the middle of an argument.
We were fighting about me being out all night drinking and she gave me a Floridian Lecture.
When a Pre-teen double teams on their cousin with their grandfather
Person 1: Bro did Slaying really do a Floridian Hot Pocket
Person 2: Yeah he dipped both hands
When you exchange saliva with a redneck and use it as lube to masturbate
Dude I did a naughty Floridian spit last night it felt so good
Step 1: Go to Outback Steakhouse and order your choice of steak to go
Step 2: Invite a 4 or lower over to your house (seriously, a 4 or lower, you’ll never want to see this person again)
Step 3: Take ordered steak and slap it right across her front-butt.
Step 4: Proceed to have doggy style sex while drizzling A1 Sauce on her back.
Step 5: Eat said steak off her back while, simultaneously, blowing her back out.
Man I had a bad day of work, so gave this 3 of a girl a Floridian Steakhouse