i think i hauve covid

what you say when you get really turned on

her imperious condescession: you're such a good girl.
me: i think i hauve covid

29👍 3👎

I think i just did

A cocky and sassy comeback that usually leaves people speechless

person1: Hey Shut the hell up. person2: Don't you tell me to shut up. person1: uhh I think i just did. person2: ................

43👍 12👎

I wish I could do that

Joke. When you see a buddy's dog licking his dick and you say,"I wish I could do that." Your buddy replies,"Go ahead,but,he's liable to bite you."

"I wish I could do that" is what you say when you see a dog licking his dick.

55👍 18👎

I promise I won't tell

The biggest lie anyone has ever told; everyone has used this at least once

Person 1- I can't tell you
Person 2-I promise I won't tell
Person 1- ok but you can't tell anyone
Person 2- I won't
..later on
Person 3- what did they say?
Person 2- yup he likes you

12👍 4👎

i did i t again

when billie eilish broke her own record on instagram to reach 1,000,000 in under six minutes.

Billie Eilish: *breaks record*
Billie Eilish on her story: “i did i t again”

I think I broke a hamstring...

What you say when you think you are hurt, or not ok.

Person 1: Are you OK?
Person 2: No, I think I broke a hamstring...

I believe I can fly

Slang terminology for peeing on your partner for sexual gratification

Honey, quick -- to the bathtub, I believe I can fly!

32👍 24👎