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A religion with over 8 million members all over the world. They come from hundreds of ethnic and language backgrounds, yet are united by common goals. Above all, they want to honor Jehovah, the God of the Bible and the Creator of all things. They do their best to imitate Jesus Christ and are proud to be called Christians. Each of them regularly spend time helping people learn about the Bible and God’s Kingdom. Because they witness, or talk, about Jehovah God and his Kingdom, they are known as Jehovah’s Witnesses.
They are one of the few religions to go door to door in order to preach. Despite common misconceptions, they are not a cult, and do not force anyone to join their religion. They are honest, respectful, peaceful people.
They have an official website: jw.org. Any other website not linked to on the official site cannot be considered a valid source of information regarding Jehovah's Witnesses, as they tend to have biased opinions disguised as facts about JWs.
Person 1: What religion are you?
Person 2: I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
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A Christian religion often called a cult. They are well known for their frequent missionary visits, wherein they knock on your door, armed with pamphlets and magazines. They should not be confused with Mormon missionaries; a distinct difference is that Jehovah's Witnesses will try to tell you that your religion is wrong using their analytical facts.
JW Missionary: So what religion do you belong to?
Me: I'm a Mormon.
JW Missionary: Well, your Book of Mormon contradicts the Bible!
Me: How so?
JW Missionary: Well, we don't have any of them with us right now...
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IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door.
Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you.
Person: Look the true religion is coming!
Jehovah's Witnesses: Would you like to learn God's ways!
Person: Yes! You guys are not false and awkward like the Mormons but you base all your beliefs on the bible and don't create things like other religions. I was a Mormon and they are weird!
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If you are in the same room with one you will definately know it! He'll be yelling and screaming, arguing with the Christian who simply wants to take a piss without being tapped on the shoulder and being told that he needs God!
Jehovahs Witness: "You need God!"
Christian: "I need to take a piss and the only things that'll help me with that is my penis and if you will SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
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A person who believes that their only belief is the right belief, tries to inform other people and just ends up frustrating everyone.
Joe was sleeping in his bed at 6 am, then someone knocked at the door. Joe opened the door and to his frustration finds that it's another Jehovah's Witness.
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A very athletic annoying person
Did you see that Jehovahs Witness run and jump over that fence when my dog started chasing him
SEE: Jehovah's Witless for comparison (they don't make the fence)
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A Christian denomination... have very very very diffrent beliefs then the other denominations have. They are their chruches which are usually called a Kingdom Hall. They tend to knock on doors to get you to join them. You can do either one of three things.
1) Don't answer the door, they'll leave after a minute or leave some of their propaganda litertuare, either that or keep pestering.
2) Answer the door naked or screwing your wife... they'll get freaked out and run away. Or flip the bird.. or aim a shotgun at them. Or sic your dog on them.
3) Let them in and listen to their FUCKING ENDLESS RANT OF DOOM!
Bobby just called... the Jehovah's Witnesses are in the neighboorhood.
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