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A job used by people who are often unemployed. They don't exactly know what their role is and are usually self employed contractors that do jobs or gigs to make a living.
"Hey, I heard you started dating John, what does he do for a living?"
"He told me he was a project manager"
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an office game for yuppies and geeks
1. go to an office meeting
2. write down every newspeak term or off-the-cuff phrase
3. when you have five new ones, or five old ones from the official list ( you should have a keeper of the list), mumble "bingo" just loud enough for the people next to you to hear
Collect phrases like :
"moving forward" (in the future)
"Growing the business"
"mental bandwidth"
"de-risk"
"develop a plan around"
"Scrubbing" (as in checking over a list)
"partner with" (in reference to another work group)
etc...
Then for each meeting make a mark next to each one you hear, and write down the potential new ones. Five marks is a bingo!
(overheard coming out of a meeting) "Hey, I won management bingo today!"
Babestation management is where the manager is never there.
Like the soft porn tv show of the same name - "You never see the cunt."
A - "Jees that Dave is a Babestation manager."
B - "Too right I haven't seen him yet this month."
A property management company based in Baltimore, MD. They are known for having managers who are complete fuckheads that enjoy many dicks in their asses on a daily basis. Overall, this company sucks major ass.
Bro 1: Hey man, I just viewed a house and the manager was a complete dumbass.
Bro 2: Oh, it must have been owned by American Management then.
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The refined art of manipulating the Vortex Effect, to your advantage, by slowly putting pressure on the lever,without completing the flush,when excessive amount of excrement are present and in need of disposal.
Boy!,I'm sure tired of this damn toliet overflowing. I've really got to work on my flush managment.
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1. Runs the show
2. God
3. That bitch in the headset
Have you seen the stage manager? I need someone to yell at me (I'm a techie)
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A management philosophy prescribing to the theory that to best motivate your employees, you must at all times:
1. Keep them in the dark.
2. Feed them full of shit.
This form of management applies to every situation where management is involved. Be it passing on critical information to employees, or informing people of policy change and company announcements. The entire purpose is to be as vague and unresponsive as possible. The ultimate culmination and success of this management style can be found when people draw comparisons to management and a black hole. Where resources and information go in and nothing comes out.
Example of Mushroom Management:
Employee1: So you talked to management on our companies re-bid for the contract?
Employee2: Yea, but didn't get much. Management said there's nothing to report.
Employee3: How can that be? Our fucking contract is up next month, how can they not know anything?
Employee1: Don't ask me dude. Man I feel like I'm constantly in the dark and fed full of shit. Kind of like a mushroom.
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