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When someone spreads your cheeks (In the Midwestern region of the United States) and inserts a large object inside of your anus.
Jacob hit Justin with the Midwest Excursion when he was told they won't be sharing a room in Minecraft. Safe to say he won't be walking the same for a few hours.
An alternative to I-70 or I-80 road head. The name for the act of getting suddenly blindfolded and tied up by your girlfriend in a two-star midwestern hotel off the highway; so she can whack you with a potholder, then fellate and ride your lollipop, while you lie there unable to thwart her fast food and White Claw-fueled demands.
“It was a long drive back to Colorado, but I gave him the Midwest Lollipop to break up the monotony.”
“Driving through the Midwest is tediously boring, but the GF gave me the Midwest Lollipop when we overnighted in Omaha.”
“Welcome to Iowa. Home of the Midwest Lollipop.”
Married, kids and divorced before 30yrs old... because people in the Midwest like “family values” and not wearing condoms...
if you avoided all three you might be a unicorn!
“So did that girl you went out with last week make it thru the “Midwest Gauntlet” or was she a statistic?
It's like a 1950s sitcom. Everyone acts like they're your neighbor.
Molly is visiting from Portland and described Illinoians as Midwest friendly.
The seemingly ubiquitous phenomenon in which all of your high school friends from the midwest are engaged soon after high school and have kids shortly thereafter.
Wow, poor Sally and John sure fell into that midwest rush getting married at 19 and having kids at 20.
When a girl isn't the ugliest person ever seen in the world, because midwesterners have low standards.
Person A:you see that blonde from wisconsin? Pretty hot right?
Person B:Pfft, she's a Midwest 10 and an LA 3
In the Midwest, particularly Minnesota, the word ‘fine’ when used like “Yea I’m fine” or “Oh that’s fine” doesn’t mean that something is truly fine, it translates roughly to “nothing is going right and everything is shitty”
Fine could be considered a more subtle version of “could be better”
Person 1: That crash was rough, you ok?
Person 2: Oh yeah I’m fine
Person 1: Is that fine fine or midwest fine