left handed smoke shifter

A combination of snipe hunting and to be given the runaround. Part of the phrase, " Go find me a left handed smoke shifter" This is to be said to one of the more gullible members of the group. That member is then sent on a fool's errand, running from campsite to campsite as the people at each campsite tell him, " No we don't have one, but I heard so and so has one." In other words; something that doesn't exist that is used to send someone on a fool's errand.

My older brother told me to get the "Biggie does Bach" CD. Turns out it was a left handed smoke shifter.

145👍 12👎

sherman's classic shifter

ingredients: one sherman
one girl
one car

first, remove the transmission from the car. then, lay sherman out across the floor so that his penis is in place of the shifter. then, allow girl to shift gears as she pleases, making her pop scrotal acne to activate emergency brake. after sherman is spent, throw him off a bridge into a pirhanna infested river.

megan gave her boyfriend the sherman's classic shifter

2👍 15👎

shifter shop

hi welcome to the shifter shop how may we help you we have big small kids sizes and even premium tank tops with 12 mug colors

are you gonna visit the shifter shop

Stick shifters

When two ladies sleep with the same guy.

Emma and Susan both slept with A.J. last week. I guess they are stick shifters now.

3rd shifter

Nope I'm arbitrarily woken up all the time. All the unwanted phone calls people generally get are during the day. Or parents! You know how many times my parents have woken me up 2 hours after falling alseep to perform some trivial task and/or go out into the freezing cold? And my parents are childish as fuck.

Hym "Nope. As a 3rd shifter I can tell you that none of that is true. So, no. Your children don't make you better than anyone. Your children are shit. Hey, does the bullying make you want to 'stab me in the neck?' Does it make you want to punish me in the most sadistic way possible? Would I deserve whatever you did to me? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

body shifter

A person who you are so close to you can trust will help you remove the body of a sexual partner (died from natural causes) from your bed before you spouse comes home...no questions asked

He is my body shifter

Off-shifter

A drink at the establishment you just finished working a shift in.

"Hey Tony! What'll it be for your off-shifter? I want to ring it in before we're closed!"

"Same as always Ruthie! 1 (insert name of hoppy hipster small batch brew) please!"