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when you are fucking someone on the ass, you pull out, stick 2 coffee stirrers inside said ass, then ask your unwitting partner if they have room for cream. if they say yes, nut away!
hoink: so you hooked up with the barrista last night?
clone: yeah, he asked for breakfast in bed, and all he got was the starbuck!
hoink: that explains the black eye.
4👍 1👎
the status symbol plague of america in liquid form...it's the only beverage accessory to your outfit now. and every mindless drone who goes there thinks that they're artsy, posh, and sophisticated if they visit a starbucks or carry around a drink with its logo, despite the fact that just about anyone can buy from there?
Serena stopped by starbucks in the morning to buy a mocca java and she finished it in 5 minutes flat but more importantly she carried the empty cup with its starbucks logo around to each of her next 6 class periods of the day.
Tara almost sold her soul to work at starbucks, now she finally got the job, thinks she's in paradise, and brags about how she can make the best frappacinos and can serve her admiring friends for free. As you can see, she's truly made it in life.
616👍 618👎
1. a place where menopausal women come to verbally abuse me cause their children have moved out to avoid the mental torture and their husbands are gladly away on business trips in third world countries.
2. a place where groups of 3-5 13 year old girls who have somehow managed to come across a jefferson all want a frappuccino of a different flavor, then change their mind while i'm halfway through making it.
3.a coffee house that has gained popularity with the masses by letting them know that their $3.10 for a 12 ounce drink is showing the rest of the world that they are indeed a cup above.
4. a place where annoying people are convinced that i want to hear their trials and tribulations.
5. a coffee house that serves a good cup of joe to the masses for a high price, was ruined by the invention of the evil frappuccino.
Frowning woman: half organic half soy with a splash of breve extra extra hot i mean exactly 187 degrees, and i carry a thermometer in my purse you sou better make it exactly 187 triple venti 5/7 decaf sugar free vanilla cafe latte. oh yeah and no foam.
Me: ok.
Frowning woman: (now scowling bitterly) oh you are writing it all wrong give me the cup and i'll write it myself. my usual Starbucks barista that i go to writes it in italics times new roman. hisssssssssss.
35👍 25👎
A really unimpressive coffee company that is over hype by middle school kids who think they are emo but are just hormonal and bitchier than the more superior of the human race. Everything taste like coffee, I shit you not. Go in and get a hot chocolate. What do you expect in your hot chocolate? Hot water, Chocolate mix or syrup... That's simple right? Nah they're all like "Yo, I'mma put coffee in this so that way it just tastes the same as EVERYTHING ELSE in this shop." Way to alienate your possible consumers. Oh and the sizes are a bitch too. Tall? Vente? Grande? Uhm... Aren't tall and grande close to being synonymous? Don't matter, they're all over priced and basically the same size anyways. They're putting their stores in funeral homes. Well that's just fucking depressing. Imagine the people who have to work at those homes and see sad people all day and dead bodies? They make sales expecting people to drown their misery in hot chocolate/ coffee, coffee milk/ coffee flavored coffee.
I wonder what would happen if starbucks opened its own deli. Would the sandwiches be "Ham and coffee grinds?" Or "Coffee bean and swiss?" They would have head cheese but instead of meat in the head cheese it would be coffee grinds.
I say "Screw that" Go to dunkin donuts, get yourself a hot chocolate that tastes like it's supposed to.
Dude 1: "Yo, let's go to starbucks."
Dude 2: "Do they have non-coffee? I hate coffee"
Dude 1: "Yeah... Get a hot chocolate dude that shouldn't be bad"
Dude 2: "K"
Starbucks cashier: "How may I help you?"
Dude 1: "I'd like a small..."
Starbucks Cashier: "You mean tall?"
Dude 1: "You know what I mean small mocha chai with... Meh fuck it all drinks here taste the same anyways, just pour liquid in a cup and charge me"
Starbucks Cashier: "Anything else?"
Dude 2: "Get me a grande Hot chocolate with cinnamon"
Starbucks Cashier: "Kk that will be $10.82"
They pay and get out of there
Dude 2: "Bleh... This hot chocolate tastes like COFFEE!!!"
Dude 1: "Shit happens when you go to starbucks bro."
11👍 6👎
A coffee house company known for being the only thing in the world you can say is in every corner without exaggeration.
Starbucks stores are everywhere from the street right accross Starbucks, to a section inside China's holy Forbidden City.
Sure, this might be hilariously annoying, but hey, it's good coffee.
And at the same time, a not-so-bad corporation.
Granted, it used to be a bad corporation a decade ago, worthy of having had its windows smashed during the WTO protests in Seattle, and the ridiculous number of Starbucks-per-acre are a clear remnant of its scare tactics in which some of these coffee houses ran on deficit just so that small local coffee houses were forced to close down.
But this is a thing of the past, and, especially compared to any other corporation, Starbucks has had a change of heart.
Currently, their coffee is delicious, and supports Fair Trade. Maybe only 6% of its coffee comes from Fair Trade from small independent coffee-growing cooperatives, but that six percent is still half of the entire coffee fair trade in America. They pay their employers decently, and while its attempts at promoting a Bohemian-like culture and attitude with its jazzy music and overall ambient is at best mediocre, it's still more culture than the average American bothers to get involved in.
There is one bad thing with Starbucks though: most of its customers. Starbucks sells good coffee, but so do many other local coffee shops. It is only reasonable to buy the best tasting coffee, yet a big number of Starbucks customers go to Starbucks because it's Starbucks! Remember, flavor is very important, but so is buying local.
Trendy kid - Let's get a vente mocha at Starbucks.
Kid that thinks - Q8 makes a better mocha than Starbucks.
Trendy kid - But what social status does Q8 have?
Wannabe rebel kid - Man I hate Starbucks! It's a fucking corporation!
Kid that thinks - I hate greedy corporations as much as the next guy, but you do know Starbucks is very into Fair Trade and even closed all its stores for one day at the expense of millions of dollars just so that they could teach their employers better how to make a good cup of coffee?
Wannabe rebel kid - I did not know that...
*and both become the wiser thereafter*
26👍 20👎
Major coffee shop chain that originated in Seattle and is now literally found everywhere in the world. Contrary to popular belief, the company charges you $4 not for the coffee, but for you to have the right to carry around their cups and feel cool. This is because their coffee sucks. Every person that has ever gone there has thought "I could make the exact same drink at home 10 times better". But most of them decide to return because it makes them feel cool. They also sell bad CD's that include "Dave Mathews band" and "Barbara Streisand". If they decide to charge $8 for the worst coffee ever people will buy it because it carries the Starbucks logo or just simply because they're idiots. Anyone who spends over $200 a year in Starbucks is an asshole. Their coffee is not good at all.
14 Year old girl: "Starbucks is sooo good."
40 Year old male (Girl's dad): "You have no idea what good coffee is, Starbucks sucks, you suck, you idiot.
10👍 6👎
A place to take a dump when you're in the city.
"Because there's no public restrooms around here, I'm just going to drop a deuce in this Starbucks."
5👍 2👎